Editorial Draft- gcatt310

Will E-Cigarettes Scar a Generation?

Generation Z have succumb to the temptations of e-cigarettes, a generation likely to never smoke cigarettes. Will this cause long term health effects and lasting damage?

In the 1960s, more than 40 percent of the United States adult population smoked cigarettes (National Center for Health Statistics 2005). As time went on, the health effects that are a result of long term tobacco use were prevalent. Soon, parents and teachers were passing on the message to not smoke cigarettes. In 2017, 14% of U.S. adults were current cigarette smokers. The amount of cigarette smokers significantly decreased and it was no longer commonplace to smoke cigarettes in public settings. So why is it that now in 2019 there have been so many children and young adults having health complications that lead back to smoking? The e-cigarette industry. 

Particular brands, like the most common used e-cigarette, juul have marketed specifically towards young adults. The discrete design makes the juul easily concealable. Most young people are vaping, about 68% of the $2 billion e-cigarette market are using the juul. (National Center for Health Research 2019). The juul uses cartridges that are flavored. The fruity flavors make these very appealing to children. Children are able to bring these e-cigarettes into school since they are so discreet. This makes for an unsafe environment for others. Many children use their e-cigarettes in class while the teachers back is turned. Other children are introduced to this behavior and it is extremely easy to join in or be peer pressured into it. However, the health effects are the most concerning. 

“As of October 2019, 18 deaths and more than 1,000 cases of serious lung illness related to e-cigarettes have been reported in the media,” (National Center for Health Research 2019). Most teens and young adults think that they are being smart and healthy by not smoking cigarettes, but instead smoking e-cigarettes. This is not true. The effects of vaping are intense and real. E-cigarette companies should be reprimanded for marketing to teens and young adults. The message of not smoking cigarettes and e-cigarettes should be spread. The percentage of people who vape needs to drop. Children can not continue down this road of vaping. “A 2017 study found that non-smoking adults were four times more likely to start smoking traditional cigarettes after only 18 months of vaping, which includes juuling”, (National Center for Health Research 2019). Without changing the standards and regulations of the e-cigarette industry, these products will continue to be mass produced and made easily accessible to younger generations. Without the message spread throughout homes and schools, younger generations will not be educated on the health effects. Change is needed.

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12 Responses to Editorial Draft- gcatt310

  1. Remember that you do not have to traditionally sight anything, just a hyperlink under the quote will is more appropriate, also, I feel that you had a good amount of evidence, but that you need to let your views show a little more! While it is important to have evidence to back up your claims, be sure to avoid letting your argument become just evidence! There should be clear claims in the beginning of your writing, instead of just a phrase in your closing wrapping it up, some readers won’t wait for the end to know what you think. Otherwise, very interesting topic, and great first attempt!

    Like

  2. I liked how you used statistics. I thought that you should’ve stated your opinions right away. Should have more evidence to help support your claims more. Other than that, this was good!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bmdpiano says:

    Hello! First off, great use of statistics and showing a comparison of the smoking epidemic to the e-cigarette epidemic. That really makes your POV stronger. Also, your last paragraph stately promotes your opinion which is what we want to hear.

    Some suggestions to you would be to state your opinion right off the bat. Your statistics are good in the beginning, but maybe introduce one and get right to what your opinion is. Waiting to do this will have you lose the reader’s interest.

    I also think that some more evidence that juul is bad and affecting the new generation negatively. You do not need to cite it, but more info backing this up will help support your opinion. For example, you can more in depth mention the various deaths and sicknesses that are being caused by e-cigarettes currently. I know you do mention this, but slightly more detail would help. This also should be mentioned earlier in your writing to grab the reader directly in. You waited until the last paragraph to do this which did not make it as alarming anymore.

    Hope this helps!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ajuuy7 says:

    I think the first paragraph needs to be more straightforward. Instead of the last two sentences being at the end they should start off the editorial. The use of statistics in your writing was very compelling and it helped your effectiveness with your claims. I think there were a lot of things demanded in the last paragraph and maybe they could have been more spread out throughout the editorial.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. bmdpiano says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

    Like

  6. bane1900 says:

    Great use of statistics to strengthen your side of the argument
    “The juul uses cartridges that are flavored. The fruity flavors make these very appealing to children.” This sentence can be condensed down into a more concise one.
    When you ask questions in writing, make sure to provide clear answers soon after in order to gain readers interest
    Strong last few sentences telling people what they should do in order to help

    Liked by 1 person

  7. smellycat23 says:

    Intro: Generation Z “has” succumb to..
    “Soon, parents and teachers were passing on the message to not smoke cigarettes.”
    Maybe say.. soon, parents and teachers were encouraging (then state who) not to smoke cigarettes.
    The e-cigarette industry. -> use an adjective here to prove your side
    “Most young people are vaping, about 68% of the $2 billion e-cigarette market are using the juul.” I feel like these two parts do not go together. The ststistic should be the percenage of vapers who are young, not the percentage of what kind of e-cigarette used
    “Children are able to bring these e-cigarettes into school since they are so discreet.” Why are they so discreet? because of their size?
    “Other children are introduced to this behavior and it is extremely easy to join in or be peer pressured into it” I feel like this sentence should be condensed or better wording should be used.
    I like the start of your last paragraph. State what the effects are of e-cigarettes.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. iamsleepy01 says:

    I really like how you use stats, it was really informational.
    One thing that I would change is: have to has in the title.
    Many children use their e-cigarettes in class while the teachers back is turned. Change teachers to teachers’.
    From what I can see, the rest is good.
    Great job!

    Like

  9. I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

    Like

  10. smellycat23 says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one

    Like

  11. bane1900 says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

    Like

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