I’m Goin’ Baby on Baby
In the world of music, rappers’ careers are one of the most idolized by young people and their actions clearly influence their lives and numb them to the ideas of substance abuse and violence.
Many up and coming artists get swept away with the fame, but that usually ends up in many legal problems later on in their career.
Rappers often boast about violence and drug abuse in their songs. Many rappers vocalize their reckless use of drugs and alcohol to portray themselves as “cool” and “hardcore”. This has been a process used since the 1980s and has gained more and more popularity in recent years. Only a select few artists get signed to major record labels. Once these artists get signed to mainstream labels, this only solidifies the ideas in their minds that these topics are what sells songs, rather than instrumentals or more meaningful lyrics. These lyrics don’t gain anything for these artists, other than attention and scrutiny from the police. But more importantly, this affects our younger generation greatly. They are subject to these inappropriate lyrics and become numbed to the dangers of substance abuse. There are other topics that rappers can incorporate into their songs. More motivational lyrics relating to jobs or higher education or even getting closer to your family – anything is better that what they hear now.
With the popularity social media has gained in the past decade, big name rappers are taking their performances online. This brings many controversies and accusations along with it. For example, in recent times, rapper Tekashi69 has been convicted of federal racketeering and firearm charges. Once convicted, Tekashi69 immediately started throwing his friends and co-workers under the bus blaming these charges on them. This led to a lot of outrage on social media platforms leading to many threats towards Tekashi69 and his family. Furthermore, DaBaby has had his own life threatened in person. In the article pertaining to DaBaby’s personal life, he states that he was shopping with his daughter, mother, and another child when two men threatened him with a gun. In self defense, DaBaby fired off one shot killing one of the men. He was charged with a misdemeanor for carrying a concealed weapon instead of the murder. Rappers expose themselves to the public, revealing personal details leaving them vulnerable to people who want to take advantage of their fame.
Speaking out against certain styles of rap on mainstream media outlets portraying the use of drugs and violence against others, is the only way we can help these artists on the right track, but more importantly guiding our youth in more positive ways
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Newspaperlessness 
The author should have stated their opinion earlier in their writing, but the writing is strong and good claims are made. More textual evidence would also be useful in supporting the argument being made.
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You can tell what your argument is here, but I suggest you try to dumb it down or make it more simple. The sentences are sort of lengthy and could be won over in a shorter and more effective sentence. Your info on the other hand is great and you have evidence to back it up. I am extremely intrigued by the topic, but didn’t know this much about the topic to where you helped me out a lot.
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The opening paragraph is very good and has some strong point of views. Add some opinion or personal experience with your topic to make it more relatable. Also, add in some unique point of views instead of sticking to the basics, this will increase the interest in your writing for the readers.
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I feel like there could be more of an opinion in here. All of the information is there and an opinion would really bring this to life. There is not much to approve upon except for that.
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the writer gives real life examples and provides us with the proof we need to understand his POV. It was well written but maybe insert your opinion a little bit more throughout the editorial rather than spitting out facts. Also maybe try and counter argue some of your points that you have made to strengthen them.
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Bane included a lot of information in his strongest paragraph, this paragraph was the one where talked specifically about rappers Tekashi69 and DaBaby and their experiences running into the law. Coming from someone who has continuously listened to these rappers I know that these examples truly show how rappers in todays age are shown as in the thug life. We see rappers get into situations with the law all the time but never really think it a big dead, and needs to be stopped. This piece of writing does a great job in explaining what rappers can do to fix their image and clean up a little bit of their lifestyle.
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The writer includes a lot of information into this writing piece in order to show the violent capabilities rappers may have. By giving real life, relatable rappers as an example helps the reader connect more to the claim they are making.
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Had a lot of information about the topic but I couldn’t find anything on the author’s opinion on the topic. The way it was written it seemed the author that rappers are violent.
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In the untitled editorial about rappers violent tendencies, Bane highlights occurrences that illustrate the problem of the trends and music of rappers. For example, the author wrote about the rappers Tekashi69 and DaBaby, saying how their violent behaviors lead to convictions of federal racketeering and firearms and a misdemeanor for carrying a concealed weapon. By showing these real life examples of the problem, it puts the reader into perspective what the consequences truly are.
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The author included a lot of information about the topic of violence with rappers, however they did not show their opinion about the topic until the last paragraph and even then it was not enough to display how they really felt about the subject. There was no passion for the issue and a resolution. Overall the author did a great job of relaying the important information from the article to the reader.
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Bane, I’m doing a quick round of feedback this morning to get the revision ball rolling. Feel free to put your post back into Feedback Please if you want more reactions or a different sort of feedback.
I agree you have a problem of diminishing returns here, Bane. More material that proves the same thing as your first examples is never the solution. More ideas, and more complex thinking, always helps. Is this danger of living the “rap lifestyle” unique to our time? Or is it just the 2019 version of what has always plagued certain artists? Art is a fringe pursuit, and artists embrace and are celebrated for being “out there.” Plenty of musicians have suffered and died from their abuses before the advent of rap. Writers, poets, even painters whose lives were extreme and whose obsessions were the “flip side” of their genius have burned out hot and fast through overdose or suicide. Others have “gotten clean” and mellowed into their old age. You haven’t mentioned Kanye, whose recent God-centered release is certainly a rebuke of thuggishness, or Eminem, or Kendrick Lamar, or other rappers who have embraced and celebrated a sober lifestyle.
Decide what you REALLY think about whether rap is special, or just another mixed bag of random artists that can be used to prove whatever we want it to prove.
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Seeking feedback into how to add length to this topic without fluff and I feel myself losing readers interest by getting slowly more vague so I’d like feedback with building stronger claims.
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