CLASS 11: TUE OCT 08

Riddle: Just Passed Scenic Views

Lecture/Demo: Review of Editorial Drafts

  • I’m excited to see so many arresting and intriguing drafts of your Editorials. You’ve really stepped up and taken the task to heart. Let’s navigate to the “teaser feed” for the 30 or so first drafts already on our page and decide which of the many do the best job of commanding our attention from the very first words.
  • I’ll give you time to scroll the list, open the three editorials that you feel most compelled to read, and “Tag” them with a Reply that says, “I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.”

Task: Peer Review of First Drafts

  • After you’ve tagged your three pieces and we have a chance to see which drew them most attention, we’ll return to the posts for peer review and analysis.
  • Critique each of the three posts you’ve tagged.
  • Be polite but blunt. Lavish praise where it is warranted and critique where criticism is needed.
  • On Target:
    • You may critique the argument for logic, relevance, and persuasiveness.
    • You may critique the rhetoric and style for effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
    • You may critique the organization and the sequencing of claims.
  • Off Target:
    • You may not critique the author’s opinions, personality, maturity, or fitness to be an editorial writer.
    • In other words, no ad hominem attacks. Stick to critiquing the work.
  • DEADLINE: If you attended today’s class but did not finish your critiques, you have until THU OCT 10 at class time to complete the task.
  • DEADLINE: If you were absent for today’s class, you have until THU OCT 10 at class time to complete the task.

Task: Answer Two Questions

  1. True or False: Peer Review is useful if classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite. Answer and Explain in your Reply below.
  2. True or False: The “Funnel Approach” to beginning an essay is so 20th-century and should be avoided. Answer and Explain in your Reply below.

35 Responses to CLASS 11: TUE OCT 08

  1. morra2024 says:

    10/8/2019 notes
    0. Class started with the “Just passed scenic views,” riddle. The main takeaway: just like a sign shouldn’t describe what we have already encountered, in order not to lose the reader’s attention, the author should make their points immediately clear, and then provide the evidence, not vice versa.

    1. Today we mainly differentiated between the editorial drafts based on which of them managed to capture our attention the quickest in as few sentences as possible. As part of our task, we chose three drafts we’d later come back to give feedback to.

    2.
    a) True – if the reviewer isn’t honest in their feedback, then the author gets a skewed view of his own work, which could lead them to falsely believing that they are doing a better or worse job than they actually are. Honesty truly is the best policy here.
    b) True, at least in the context of opinionated works, such as LTE’s and editorials. It’s been scientifically proven that the attention span of modern humans is 5 seconds, which is less than that of a goldfish, 6 seconds. Therefore, in order to make sure the reader gets all our points, we can’t afford to waste their time with the buildup.

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  2. Valcom says:

    [] The Funnel Approach was a 20th Century approach, because feed back from someone does not always mean its correct. You will lose a large sum of readers in the first sentence if you do not say right away what the point is.
    [] Indicate what you are going to talk about through wording, such as wrongly or right handedly. Good technique for Editorial Writing and possibly even all is writing the thesis as early on as possible.
    [] For most of the class, we read editorials written by our peers and chose 3 of our favorites. After choosing the three, we must give peer review or peer feedback on changes the writer can make to improve their editorial.
    [] 1. True – I believe that peer review is good because it allows for the writer to obtain valuable feedback from someone who is within the same age group as the person but also peers can relay important feedback that they have gotten or learned over time.
    2. True – The funnel method is for sure something of the past. Most people choose not to or do not know how to use the funnel method properly which makes it something of the past. There are better ways to state and relay a thesis.

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  3. comp0327 says:

    1. True. I appreciate feedback from classmates, as long as they are not rude, just honest and to the point.
    2. False. Channeling ideas down into smaller, more concise points is a useful method.

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  4. tenere84 says:

    Notes 10/8/19

    Riddle: Just Passed Scenic Views

    – The riddle was simply a sign that said “Just Passed Scenic Views.” This sign made the error of telling us what we’ve already seen, when signs in general should prepare us for the future.
    – This is, perhaps, analogous to writers stating the obvious in their works and introducing nothing new.

    Review of Editorial Drafts

    For most of the class, we distinguished between Editorial drafts that grab the reader’s attention with the title and first few sentences and Editorial drafts that wait until later tofully establish their main claim. The latter drafts use what is called the “Funnel approach,” wherein they wait until later on in their writing to get to the point, effectively gradually losing readers’ attention. The bottom line is that it’s important for writers to use rhetoric effectively from beginning to end, establish claims early, and refrain from using tangential information.

    True or false:
    1.) Peer Review is useful if classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite. True; sometimes being blunt is the best approach; being impolite is never necessary.
    2.) The “Funnel Approach” to beginning an essay is so 20th-century and should be avoided. True; it’s not incorrect but the writing world has changed. An essay/editorial simply won’t be successful if the writer doesn’t maintain most of their audience from beginning to end.

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  5. ajuuy7 says:

    We started off with a riddle that had a hidden message about how important it is to have everything in the right spot in our writing. In the first few sentences of our editorials our claims should be clear. It is easier to loose readers as time goes on so it is important to get to the point. We chose three of our classmates drafts to critique. I believe it is true that we should be blunt and respectful in our reviews because we are all just trying to help each other. I also think it is true that the funnel approach is not effective and the beginning of a piece of writing is important to get the point across.

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  6. ahntkd99 says:

    10/8
    Riddle: Just Passed Scenic Views
    – There is a road sign and it said ” Just passed scenic views”
    – We find where is the error in that sign
    – The error is that the sign didn’t tell about location. It should tell specific location

    Peer Review of First Drafts
    – Choose three editorials and critique it
    – You may critique the argument for logic, relevance, and persuasiveness
    – You may critique the rhetoric and style for effectiveness or ineffectiveness
    – You may critique the organization and the sequencing of claims

    Task: Answer Two Questions
    1. True ro False: Peer Review is useful if classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite
    – Peer Review is useful because you can see peer’s opinions.
    2. True or False: The “Funnel Approach” to beginning an essay is so 20th-century and should be avoided.
    – The “Funnel Approach” to beginning an essay is useful because when you write draft, it should be help you to make your essay more clearly and specifically.

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  7. 10/8 Notes:
    -Critiquing “The Funnel Approach”- beginning with filler and content filled paragraphs creates a large chance of turning the reader away early on. Rather, begin with a specific and strong claim to draw readers in and make them feel a certain way about the topic, then lead into the facts and information on the topic.
    -Word choice is an indicator of author’s point of view, without blatantly throwing your opinion in readers face
    – Use title to not only grab readers attention but immediately make a statement in your writing

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  8. bmdpiano says:

    NOTES:

    Riddle:
    – “Just Passed Scenic Views”
    – The sign is telling someone that they’ve already seen the scenic views rather than putting the sign right before passing the scenic views to indicate that people should look out for them.
    – This relates to writing as some people do not lead up to their point and get passed it too quickly without the reader realizing it.

    Lecture: Reviewing Editorials
    – State claim right away. This risks losing readers.
    – Do not use the “funnel approach.” This takes too long to get to the point. Readers are impatient.
    – It is important that the reader knows the writer’s POV right away.
    – Include words that are insistent and show a POV. (“As it should be”)

    Peer Review:
    – Choose three editorials to peer review.
    – Praise for the good work, but provide criticism to better their argument.
    – Do not argue with someone.

    Task:
    1. True. I feel that you should always begin a review by praising the writer for they did well so they are not put down or feel that they should give up. After the praise, being blunt on what they need to improve is important too. You do not want to walk around what they can fix. Just say it, but be nice about it.
    2. True. Starting too broad in today’s writing style will not hold a readers attention. A claim should be stated right away so that the reader knows the POV.

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  9. 10/8
    NOTES
    Began class with a riddle about what’s wrong with the scenic views sign. The sign is wrong for the fact that no one is going to know about the scenic views because the sign was after the fact of them. They were just expected to know about the scenic views when given no heads up. This relates to writing in a very impactful way because it acts the same way as a thesis. If not told about what you going to see your not going to understand until after and at that point it wasn’t effective.

    Reviewed the editorial drafts in a gallery perspective. If the editorial pulls you right in and intrigues the reader as we are, it will most likely be because we could tell what the who editorial is about after the first 2-3 sentences. The reader never wants to search for what the article may be about and they surely don’t want to read the whole thing and find out at the end then have to reread the writing. We looked into all of our peers editorials and learned if you can understand their perspective from the gallery POV.

    We then were given the task to pick 3 peer editorials and review them and give some feedback. I found 3 peers editorials that I loved the topics of and after class I will surely be giving them a review on what to work on and what pulled me in as a reader.

    Question 1:
    I truly believe peer review is great sometimes as it can give you the perspective of many. Having many reviews on you editorial can help you fill in gaps and edit pieces to your advantage. If one peer misses out on something, another may fill in that missing part that needs to be corrected and that’s why I believe peer review that is blunt, but respectful is highly suggested.

    Question 2:
    Personally the liking of the ‘funnel approach’ can go either way. I do like it because it brings you onto your claim and gets the reader on tract right from the start which is extremely important. If done right the funnel approach can be very affective for a author or writing.

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  10. Notes 10/8
    ~
    -Began class with the riddle, “just passed scenic views.” This sign was wrong because it should’ve been placed before the view, not after. This relates to writing because an efficient author should always write their point before they make it.
    -Don’t waste time getting to your claim. It will bore readers and you will lose interest quickly.
    -After reviewing a numerous amount of drafts, we learned to include your topic and stance on it in the first few sentences. After this, we had to pick three editorials to review and critique.
    -True, it’s imperative to be blunt with your critique to get your point across, but don’t be rude about it.
    -False. I think the funnel method is efficient in getting your point across early in order to establish interest in your audience.

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  11. voxpopuli75 says:

    – Often times the first few words need to grab the attention of the reader.
    – In order to grab the attention of the reader it is best to let your point of view be known in the first few sentences.
    -The sooner the reader knows how you feel the sooner your reader will engage with you
    -The funnel approach is when you start with nonspecific claims and then slowly build up your argument. This approach can be ineffective because the longer your readers wait for something of substance the higher the chance you have of losing them.
    1. True, peer review can be useful if classmates are blunt and polite.
    2. True, the funnel approach should be avoided if you can because it does not catch readers attention in the most effective way.

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  12. Riddle (Just Passed Scenic Views)
    – “Just Passed Scenic Views”
    – The sign comes after the scenic view and not before which would be better suited to tell you what lies ahead. When compared to writing it is a perfect example that you should state the writing ahead so that the reader is informed on what they should expect before it passes them by.
    Task: Peer Review of First Drafts
    – The writer’s idea and stance should be in the first couple of sentences or words even.
    – Writing technique: Funnel approach
    – Old approach to writing that isn’t necessarily appropriate for today.
    – Makes readers wait for something of substance which can lead to losing readers early or along the way to the man idea.
    – Make your position clear early on.
    – Drafts to peer review; Lelebxby, Comp0327, and Lazybear 8.
    Task: Answer Two Questions
    1. It is true that peer review can be useful if classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite. However, I think peer review is only useful in this sense when it is voluntary or mutually decided on. Making it an assignment can lead to classmates leaving subpar reviews just for the sake of fulfilling the assignment, leaving writers with the task of picking which critiques are genuine and insightful.

    2. It is true that the funnel approach is outdated and should be avoided. It can be a useful tool when implemented in the body of a text but not as the whole structure of one.

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  13. Valcom says:

    1. True – I believe that peer review is good because it allows for the writer to obtain valuable feedback from someone who is within the same age group as the person but also peers can relay important feedback that they have gotten or learned over time.
    2. True – The funnel method is for sure something of the past. Most people choose not to or do not know how to use the funnel method properly which makes it something of the past. There are better ways to state and relay a thesis.

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  14. lg102015 says:

    The riddle- Just passed a scenic view, this is wrong because signs are suppose to tell you about what is coming up, not what you have already passed.
    Peer review- as a class we looked through a couple f the Editorial drafts, and were asked to pick 3 drafts to peer review and edit for our classmates.
    Yes i believe it is true that peer review is useful, I believe this because it is aways good to have multiple people read and critic your work, rather then just one person.
    False,I believe that the funnel approach can be helpful, as long as the person who is using it uses it the right way and explains it correctly

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  15. lucbe219 says:

    In class, we discussed how the funnel technique is critical for us as writers when constructing an editorial to add our opinion in as soon as possible to keep our readers hooked. Our opinions need to be interesting and describe exactly where we stand on the topic, even if the readers won’t necessarily agree with it. Later, we moved onto peer reviewing our editorial drafts. Individually, we are required to give feedback to three editorials of our choice.

    1. True or False: Peer Review is useful if classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite. TRUE
    Peer review is useful because you can get multiple types of feed back to begin to fix your paper even before the professor can see it.
    2. True or False: The “Funnel Approach” to beginning an essay is so 20th-century and should be avoided. FALSE
    I believe that “The Funnel Approach” was helpful because it demonstrates a visual of how your readers are going to read your papers and how they may become uninterested if you hide the topic or your own opinion for half way through it.

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  16. Jayv23 says:

    Notes
    Within the first very few sentences the readers should be able to indicate your point of view.
    The longer we wait to get our point of view out its more likely that we lose readers interest. Readers need to be engaged in the reading before they no longer care about what you are going to say eventually. You need to indicate your point of view on the topic early in the writing and clearly state it so there is no confusion to what you are trying to say.
    1. True because I believe that another opinion other than the professors is good. It’s just another way for you to get feedback to better your writing.
    2. False because you should not wait until you are in depth of your writing to indicate your point of view. The writers point of view should be stated in the very beginning sentences to grab the readers attention.

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  17. roses0102 says:

    October 8
    – We started with a riddle, the sign that says “just passed scenic views”. There is no point of this sign because the people “just passed” the views. This can be related to writing because some point may often not be clear enough and not stated right away.
    – Editorials always address a current topic
    – We then worked on editorial peer feedback. I chose 3 drafts to leave reviews on. The purpose of peer review is to better your editorial to the feedback of your classmates.
    -Comp0327
    -bestbaker
    -smellycat23
    -Prof Hodges doesn’t like peer review, but we have to do it at least once.
    -The funnel approach is talking about your topic and waiting for the end to make the claim or position on the topic. This gives the reader a choice to see if they’re interested in further reading. Try to make a important claim that grabs different groups of peoples attention.
    -If you start with a provocative question, you have to answer it right away. Make your claim and have evidence right away to support your editorial.
    True or False: I think the peer review is useful when classmates are blunt. This helps get straight to the point and straighten up your argument without any confusion. Lengthy peer reviews will get your ideas lost.
    True or False: The funnel approach should definitely be avoided in writing. Your main point has to be strong and presented in the first couple sentences of your essay. This will give readers the choice to keep reader or to be uninterested. It is much easier to hook someone on your essay in the beginning rather than the end.

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  18. kraemercali says:

    10/8
    sign problem- relate to writing, tell what is going to happen before it happens
    editorial- react to a specific problem occurs (recent)
    editorial review- went over a couple of classmates reviews
    chose 3 of classmates work to review- yankeefan, imagination, best baker
    begin to peer review in class with time left, they are due Thursday before class time

    TRUE OR FALSE
    1. True- peer review is useful when classmates are encouraged to be blunt but polite. I think this is true because when a classmate just sugar coats whats wrong with a writing it isn’t helping anyone. A lot of peer reviews I have seen, the peer editor just praises and agrees with the author when that is not doing anything for either student.

    2. False- I don’t think the funnel approach should be completely avoided if it used well. Yes you should avoid it if you can not use it effectively, but if you are able to understand how to use it well and do it in an effective manner I think it should be fair game in methods of writing.

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  19. yankeefan25 says:

    The funnel approach is dead wrong and is a 20th century approach. It does not grab the readers attention and leaves the essay open ended. Just by that first sentence you are losing more and more readers. The longer they wait the more they are likely to stop reading. Start with your claim and it will make the readers intrigued. Having a thought provoking statement will keep everyone reading and make them want to see what it is all about. Engage readers by making your claim as soon as possible.

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  20. We need a clear claim in our writings. The funnel technique that we have always used is out of date, this form of writing or boring and mediocre. We have to start our writings with a strong, bold, and provocative claim. Name our thesis as early as you can

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  21. mpsj13 says:

    Riddle
    – One should place their claims early on instead of later in order to not confuse or lose interest of a reader
    Peer Review
    – True. A blunt review is helpful in giving the author a straight forward analysis of what a reader sees in the writing. It is also helpful to have peer review in addition to a professor’s review because a peer is not looking for a specific set of requirements.
    – False. A “funnel” is still useful. Giving a broad over view of the issue and moving into specifics is helpful in informing a reader on what they will be seeing.

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  22. The sign indicates only at the end that there were scenic views, therefore leaving the important claim at the end of the writing, meaning that the writing should start off with a strong claim and then put in the facts and information or you risk boring your reader.

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  23. The language and persuasiveness of the beginning of our editorials will determine who truly reads our writing. The sooner we know the point of view, the better the start will be. We are meant to be the voice of god and god does not care about the other point of view. We need not say a whole bunch of words and then at the end simply say “what this means is” because the reader should have known what it means as they were reading if not before.

    1.) Peer review is useful to a point. The students in this class are not very experienced writers and they may be better at finding small grammatical or spelling errors, but they may not know how to properly phrase certain thoughts.

    2.) The funnel approach is a bad approach in writing especially in today’s society in which only the first few words mattered and there is so much writing present nowadays. To be successful in today’s climate, the opinion must be spoken before the facts.

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  24. compclass8 says:

    There needs to be a clear claim in the first paragraph in order to keep the readers intrigued. If you have a question in your first paragraph you need to be sure to answer it within a few sentences after. When peer reviewing an article be sure to provide good feedback and give honest opinions. Don’t critique the authors opinions they make. True it is always useful to get as much feedback when writing as possible especially when it comes from peers who are also in the process of writing an editorial. False because the funnel approach helps the writer get to one solid claim but it should be used as a technique to get your claim and then use the final claim to put in your editorial.

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  25. True: I believe peer review is useful since the identities are surely hidden. It’s easier to explain and be blunt but also polite to anonymous people.
    True I think the funnel approach is a good way to specify what problems the author is taking upon. Establish and explain the problem and then specifically state clear points to back up your claim.

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  26. lelebxby says:

    Just Passed Scenic Views
    – Like a poorly placed road sign, as writers, we must give the reader our points clearly and effectively to prevent the reader from continuing on to another piece.
    Peer Review
    – After going over very intriguing rough drafts, the class picked a set of three to analyze and critique the works of.
    Two Questions
    – True: Peer Review is not only a helpful way for the writer to receive critiques but also useful to the one giving the feedback and possibly use others as guides/examples for their own work.
    – False: I think the “funnel” approach is good way to build up an argument while simultaneously coaxing the reader to reading further about your opinions.

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  27. hershey515 says:

    Notes Comp 8 A.M October 8th

    Riddle
    – [ ] In the beginning of class we started with a riddle that displayed a sign that was place in the wrong part of the road. The sign should be in placed in the beginning and not the end.
    Editorial Drafts
    – [ ] As a class we reviewed different classmates draft and analyzed the scenic views they used to direct the reader.
    – [ ] We then must choose three different drafts and provide feedback on what your honest opinions towards the arguments.
    True or False
    1. True.It is very important to be truthful and straight to the point when peer reviewed so every feedback you give can be taken into recognition. Being polite is also important because as much as your are giving feedback you must still be respectful
    2. False because the funnel system can still be used in your drafts by specifying the issue the writer will be making while other techniques can be used to.

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  28. athenapup4 says:

    10/8 Notes

    Riddle: Just Passed Scenic Views
    Just like in the riddle how the sign should have come before passing the scenic views if you’re explaining a quote in a paper you should start by explaining the quote first before actually quoting.
    Peer view
    When writing try to state your point of view in the very first sentence. Nobody cares about what both sides think, when writing you are trying to persuade someone to think like you.
    If you’re going to start with a question you better answer it right away.
    True or false peer review
    True I believe peer review is useful especially when the identities are hidden. It’s easier to fully explain and be blunt to an anonymous user than someone you know.
    True I think the funnel approach is a good technique because it specifies what issue the author is going to be tackling. Explain at first the big issue and then going specifically into the reason it is an issue. You can be broad and give as much information about a broad topic but this is something that I think most people lose interest on. Most people want to read the indepth reason to make their judgement.

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  29. Riddle – Just Passed Scenic Views: help a writer understand how to avoid “Scenic Views” error in her writing. The sign lets the traveler know about the scenic views after they already passed them. Like writing an academic paper, one must let the reader know their points clearly and straight forward before they lose interest and continues onto another article.

    Editorials: Only state your opinion. Don’t worry about both sides. Start pouring out through the funnel in the beginning and then provide your evidence. Be specific and get straight to the point.

    Peer Reviews: Chose 3 editorial drafts of my interest to critique. Have until Oct. 10 to do so.

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  30. smellycat23 says:

    Class began with a riddle of a sign on the road. The lesson was to show that in writing, the writer should put their point before they make it.

    The class looked at a preview of each person’s editorial. I learned that it is important to introduce your point of view in the first sentence and have a capturing title for the reader to want to read the article. Mr. Hodges said that “we are the voice of god” in our editorials and we should tell the reader how it is. Question titles should answer their question in the first sentence as well. The writer should use adjectives and verbs to prove their side of an issue.

    Then we chose three articles we’d like to critique. I learned not having enough evidence is not a valid critique because editorials are opinionated.
    1. True. Being blunt is the best way to give feedback and once everyone is doing it, it feels like it is okay.
    2. False. The funnel approach can be useful if done right and explained right.

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  31. lovericeandnoodles says:

    just passed scenic views, already passed why put a sign
    get opinion down early on in editorial
    peer review 3 papers

    True because its just writing and if one gives their opinion very bluntly to a writer but is polite about it, the writer shouldn’t care and should take their blunt opinion in also a polite manner.

    I believe the funnel approach can still work and doesn’t need to be completely shut out. Anyone can write how they want to with any method.

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  32. bestbaker123 says:

    – The riddle was kind of tricky today. It took a while to try to figure out what was wrong with the picture because I hadn’t really thought about it in the wiring perspective.
    – The riddle basically tells you to not announce when your “scenic views” have passed, because that is useless. The reader should be told ahead of time when the scenic views are supposed to appear.
    – Editorial first drafts are going fairly well. Everyone seems to be passionate and interested.
    – Editorials don’t have to use MANY words, just using the RIGHT word is enough.
    – Prof went through and read the little excerpts of our editorials to see which ones had clear points of view and judgment.
    – Editorials are supposed to be about something the writer is passionate about. Don’t try to write about something that you think will appeal to the audience, because if someone isn’t interested, they aren’t going to read it anyway.
    – Don’t delay the inevitable in your writing. Make your stance clear so the people who are interested in reading ahead stay, the others can leave.

    1. TRUE! I think that peer review can be helpful if the reader is honest and blunt but not hurtful with their words. Most of the time, that’s not the case but hopefully since no one knows who anyone is in our case, it might be easier to be straight forward and polite.
    2. TRUE! The funnel method doesn’t have to be completely discarded, but it can be replaced in some situations. It’s always been thought to us that we should start broad and make our way to our more specific point in a couple of sentences. However, nowadays the world moves so fast that no one has the time to waste reading through the extra background information in the beginning of the writing. Getting to your point within the first sentence or 2 seems to be the way editorials are written, and it seems to be effective. You can always add more information later on, but once you lose a reader, you can’t get them back

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  33. bane1900 says:

    Riddle taught to make sure to be clear when stating things, and to time them the right way
    No time/words to waste when writing editorials. Authors need to be clear and concise to keep the readers attention and to make clear claims early in the writing
    Peer review
    True – Peer review is good because it gives authors a different perspective rather than from a professor looking for a set amount of details
    True – There are other ways in expressing points and making clear and concise arguments rather than channeling them down

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  34. iamsleepy01 says:

    – Riddle – The sign was before the scenic view. It is useless because it after the scenic view and no one will know that there was. This can be applied to writing.
    – The funnel system, we have a question, then the following sentence should be the answer. Another example is the promise and the prize.
    – As a class we read the teaser of our editorial draft and distinguished what was the best in pulling in readers.
    – Task, review and post a comment that we tagged.

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  35. lazybear8 says:

    Just Passed Scenic Views.
    Once a reader has drawn a conclusion there is no way to persuade them back.
    What speaks to you is the most persuasive writing. Critique, when writing the editorial, “you are God”. Give your opinion and your opinion alone. Professor does not want to see both sides of the conflict, only yours. There is no point in casually leading in your reader with facts, get right to the point. Start dripping out the “funnel” at the beginning of your righting. Once you explain what you believe then provide your evidence. Until you convince them of your opinion, you must peak their interest or you will lose the reader early on.

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