A Good First Sentence

Your colleague ipl37 wrote a dandy of a first sentence for the A02 assignment.

The essay

While high-tech car enthusiasts like me want to believe John R. Quain, whose September 12 article, “4G Wireless in the Car: Speeding with Impunity,” predicts new automobiles will be mobile hotspots, we’re afraid that high-speed surfing and highway safety are not compatible.

Look at all it accomplishes!

  • It provides its author’s credentials (high-tech car enthusiasts like me).
  • It provides a thorough citation (author, article title, date).
  • It briefly summarizes the pertinent material from the original (predicts new automobiles will be mobile hotspots).
  • It presents its author’s objection (high-speed surfing and highway safety are not compatible).

That objection is a bit vague. It doesn’t indicate exactly which the author prefers, surfing or safety, which it easily could. If it said surfing would reduce safety, we’d understand with less effort. But that’s a quibble. The sentence is a good model for an LTE opening.

 

About davidbdale

Inventor of and sole practitioner of 299-word Very Short Novels. www.davidbdale.wordpress.com
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