Editorial Draft- roses0102

Is this the future we want for our country? In recent years, the effects of climate change have impacted the United States in a number of ways. We are slowly headed towards irreversible damage to the planet that we live on and many people are still causing the destruction. Recently, a massive iceberg, named D38 has detached from the ice shelf in Antarctica. This causes concern because it is not only a rare occurrence, it signals climate change.

Glaciers naturally break off ice to balance the weight, known as ice calving. This acts as as natural barrier fr the ice shelf, but if to much is shed off of the shelf, it can collapse from being unstable. D28 is not the largest iceberg to separate from an ice shelf, and fortunately did not cause a collapse.

The cause for the detachment has to do with the amount of greenhouse gases emitted from burning fossil fuels, which have been proven to cause the melting. In recent studies by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change declared that America has lost over 219 billion tons of ice in the time span of 4 years. This is a a concerning number for a short period of time and that number will only continue to grow.

Climate change has to be a more recognized issue for people around the United States. Rising sea levels and climate change are slowly approaching a point of no return. Using clean and renewable energy is a great start in the right direction to reduce rising temperatures. This overall would have people less reliant on coal and other fossil fuels that emit greenhouse gases and a chance to revive our dying planet.

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3 Responses to Editorial Draft- roses0102

  1. ajuuy7 says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.


  2. I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.


    • I enjoyed reading your draft for a number of reasons.
      1. You used real life evidence to support your claim which is important in establishing other people’s opinions.
      2. Climate change is a very important issue to be focusing on because it’s so imminent.
      3. You give a solution to the issue you bring up.

      However, I have to give some critique.
      1. You should establish your claim a bit more. Use degrading phrases like “negatively impact” more so that readers truly know your stance. Claim your stance more often throughout your draft. You go into the facts, which is effective in its own way, yet rarely state the opinion throughout. I think you need to show a bit more heart.
      2. You don’t need multiple paragraphs stating your facts and research. Stick with one or two paragraphs stating the research that has been done, but definitely still include your opinions within them. If your editorial is completely facts and research, not many people will stay interested, besides science nerds, which isn’t bad.
      3. Possibly state the other side of the argument? Blame someone or something for this issue and explain why they are doing what they are doing. Say, “hey, ____, you’re doing this, and stop it!”


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