Editorial Draft- ajuuy7

What Will The Supreme Court Say
About New York’s Gun Control Laws?

The gun control debate has been controversial for years now. The Supreme Court gets back in business and has multiple major cases to look at, one of them being guns. The court will hopefully keep the laws restricted in New York City. Currently it is extremely hard to get a gun in the state and most importantly the city of New York. There are requirements of the citizens and distinct permits to allow someone to carry their guns, which are not easy to obtain. The gun laws in the city have been improving and people are very happy about it. New York was ranked sixth among the United States with the strictest gun laws and 48th out of 50 with the lowest rates of deaths by gun. Considering the amount of people who are in NYC on a daily basis, the numbers are impressive. The present restrictions on guns in the city makes tourists and citizens feel safer and that there is less of a chance of a tragedy to happen. 

The Supreme Court took on a case based in New York City that limited residents second amendment rights. Once the court showed interest, NY officials wanted to back down from their own challenge but the court persisted to deal with the issue. Talking about these laws in front of the Supreme Court could lead to the slow transformation of the second amendment itself. The court has decided to meet on December 2nd to verbally discuss the argument. In the meantime, the defense needs to stack up on statistics and information about reasons to keep the current gun laws in place.In late July gunfire erupted at a block party in Brooklyn and is thought to be linked to gang violence. The borough president Eric Adams says the episode should be considered a mass shooting. He also suggests that handguns are what need to be looked at in order to crack down on future violence. It is known that after high profile incidents the support from the public is greater so now is the time to act. 

 

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2 Responses to Editorial Draft- ajuuy7

  1. davidbdale says:

    What Will The Supreme Court Say About New York’s Gun Control Laws?

    Your title is an intriguing question, Ajuuy. But as we learned Tuesday, questions make terrible Thesis Statements, so I’ll be looking for a clear bold arguable claim from you somewhere in your first few sentences.

    Before I get there, let me express my appreciation for the linking you did to outside sources anchored by key words in your text. It’s subtle and well done. I don’t want you to think, however, that you CAN’T name the sources in your Editorial. Choosing one at random, you could say, for example, “NYCLens reminds us that citizens have to meet requirements and carry distinct permits that are not easy to obtain.” [Just an observation, not a recommendation that you do so in this case.]

    The gun control debate has been controversial for years now.

    Doesn’t matter, Ajuuy. It’s too obvious and unimportant to be your first sentence. If you mean that “we’ve been debating gun control for decades, and there shouldn’t be any reason to debate it any more,” then you could start with:

    The time to debate gun control is gone; now is the time to act.

    See the difference? You USE the fact to MAKE your own imperative claim. “Let’s stop talking. The decision is obvious.” That’s the voice of God you get to use as The Editors. Don’t waste it.

    The Supreme Court gets back in business and has multiple major cases to look at, one of them being guns. The court will hopefully keep the laws restricted in New York City.

    You have no interest in the “other major cases,” Ajuuy, so don’t mention them. Stay focused.

    The time for debate is over. When the Supreme Court gets back to business, its first act should be to reinforce gun restrictions in New York City.

    See where I’m going with this?

    Currently it is extremely hard to get a gun in the state and most importantly the city of New York. There are requirements of the citizens and distinct permits to allow someone to carry their guns, which are not easy to obtain. The gun laws in the city have been improving and people are very happy about it. New York was ranked sixth among the United States with the strictest gun laws and 48th out of 50 with the lowest rates of deaths by gun.

    Good information. Can you say it with fewer but more robust words?

    The time for debate is over. When the Supreme Court gets back to business, its first act should be to reinforce New York’s already onerous licensing restrictions (sixth-toughest in the country!) that have earned the state an enviable ranking of 48th out of 50 for the lowest rates of deaths by gun.

    We lost the claim about laws improving and people being happy about it, but I think the “sixth-toughest” and “enviable” cover those aspects pretty well.

    Considering the amount of people who are in NYC on a daily basis, the numbers are impressive. The present restrictions on guns in the city makes tourists and citizens feel safer and that there is less of a chance of a tragedy to happen.

    I don’t think the NUMBER of people in NYC makes the death rate any more surprising, but your note about feeling safer is worth keeping. Get a number maybe. [NYC & Company has released its latest tourism figures, which found that in 2018, New York City welcomed a record 65.2 million visitors, the ninth consecutive year of tourism growth.]

    The time for debate is over. When the Supreme Court gets back to business, its first act should be to reinforce New York’s already onerous licensing restrictions (sixth-toughest in the country!) that have earned the state an enviable ranking of 48th out of 50 for the lowest rates of deaths by gun. We owe it to our 9 million residents and 65 million annual tourists to keep the streets safe from gun violence.

    Did that illustration help you see the value of using every word to its greatest effect, Ajuuy? The trick requires some practice (I’ve had decades to refine it), but every ounce of meaning you can build into your sentences pays off.

    Try it on your second paragraph. When you finish, you’ll find you have an Editorial that’s shorter than 100 words: good writing that makes room for lots more ideas.

    Please respond if you want to continue receiving feedback, Ajuuy. I learn to lavish attention on those who keep the conversation going and to ignore those who don’t.

    Like

  2. ajuuy7 says:

    Can I have your overall feedback on the whole draft please, I’m not sure how I did in the standards of an editorial.

    Like

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