PayPal ceases supporting Facebook’s Libra
PayPal has withdrawn its pledged support from the planned Libra, a cryptocurrency that is currently being developed by Facebook. The project was with the support of an extensive number of corporate associates. In as much as it may appear to be a far-stretched effort, Facebook directors are envisioning a cryptocurrency being an innovative commercial framework that will not be governed by the influence of dealers in financial institutions.
The Libra project has been under development by Facebook for more than 12 months and the project was made public in June. The proposed cryptocurrency is intended to be liberally used for trade through the various platforms such as Whatsapp and Messenger, thus will function globally. Facebook had previously mentioned that over 27 corporate associates like PayPal Uber, Mastercard, etc. had promised to fund the project. Some of the corporate associates have started to become worried about the project and are taking a lot of precautions.
Politicians have aired their contradictory opinions to the projec as there’s evidence that Facebook didn’t get a lesson after its previous data confidentiality issues. Additionally, a number of those corporate associates that pledged to contribute to the project have hastily dissociated themselves from the project through agreeing to deals that they can easily fall out of in case they aren’t satisfied with its development. This was the assessment from a number of the companies that were interviewed in June by The New York Times magazine.
However, Facebook’s boss Mark Zuckerburg mentioned that he will not cease to dedicate his efforts to the realization of the Libra project although he added that the launch of the Libra coins will delay till a little later.
Overall, your editorial does a good job at presenting the facts but it is lacking in argument. I had trouble figuring out what your point of view was at all. Your editorial reads more like a news article than a true editorial. It presents the objective facts with little to none of your own opinion. However if you added in your opinion on PayPal’s decision to drop Libra your editorial could be improved immensely.
Grammar/Structure wise you spelled project wrong in the beginning of the third paragraph
“Politicians have aired their contradictory opinions to the projec as there’s evidence”
All things considered, your editorial would benefit greatly if you developed your argument/opinion more; otherwise it is not a bad first draft.
I hope my feedback is useful to you in some way.
I’ll be back to provide peer review
The first thing I picked up on was the point of view was not clear and was hard to find. Try to add your point of view within the first couple sentences or the first paragraph to make sure the reader is able to know rather than trying to find it.
In the third paragraph, there is a spelling mistake, “projec” looks to be miss spelled from “project.” The feeling of the paper seems to be more of a news article and not an editorial. One major change that should be made to the editorial is the use of stronger vocabulary. Stronger vocabulary would improve the overall article and make is more sophisticated.
For a first draft, this is not a bad editorial. Just a few changes can make it go a long way.
Good, factual first paragraph, but more needed in the idea of “hook” for readers to latch onto with thier opinions.
Strong and effective rhetoric and use of vocabulary
Overall, good first draft. Needs more in the case of an argument and where you stand on the topic so you can either prove the argument beneficial as it stands, or creates ways to change the argument in a positive way.
I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.