LTE for Portfolio—ahntkd99

Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk

To The Editor:

In his September 7th, 2019 article, “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” Nichilas Kristof argues that there are no solutions to drug abuse, despite the outrage of thousands of newborns being born addicted to opioids.

As a member of American society, I feel the shame of this terrible problem. Adults and teens in my state and throughout the country find it much too easy to get drugs illegally. According to Kristof, “A single pharmacy in Kermit, W.V., [a town of just 4,000 people] sold more than 13 million [prescription opioid tablets] over seven years.” Prescription drugs that serve a legitimate purpose when used as directed create terrible psychosis and desperation when they’re abused or over-used. Despite the growing number of drug addicts, hospitals are unable to keep up with the crisis of thousands of desperately addicted patients. Babies born addicted because of prenatal exposure to opioids can’t eat, can’t sleep, and begin their young lives in constant pain. The best the hospitals can do is provide these babies with morphine for the pain, but though morphine may work for a short time, it does nothing to break the addiction, and efforts to wean the babies with methadone creates a vicious cycle of methadone addiction. 

McKinsey and Company, the global consulting company reported that “the opioid crisis will worsen over the next three to five years.” The government must tighten penalties for those who overprescribe, wrongly provide, or sell sell drugs, and must strengthen other laws related to prescription drugs as well. In addition, hospitals must provide treatment for drug addicts who need it and compel them to defeat their addictions whenever possible. Also, companies or government make campaign about drug and should spread the drug issue. In school, they have to educate teenagers about drug.

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4 Responses to LTE for Portfolio—ahntkd99

  1. davidbdale says:

    Together, I think we managed to write a pretty compelling essay, Ahn. You brought the material and the compassion for the poor suffering infants, and I added some fluency.

    Like

  2. ahntkd99 says:

    I changed some words and sentences…. but I still don’t know which part should I add more..
    Feedback please.:)

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      Ahn, I recognize your difficulty wrestling with the complications of English, but I don’t think I can adequately DESCRIBE the problems you’re having, or their solutions, without hundreds of words that might still not provide clarity. With your permission, I want to show you specific fixes that will not be the ONLY way to revise your sentences but that will be grammatically correct.

      Your Sentence: In Nicholas Kristof’s September 7th, 2019 in the article “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” this article argues that there are no solutions about drugs, even though many newborns are exposed to drugs and struggle in America.

      In his September 7th, 2019 article, “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” Nichilas Kristof argues that there are no solutions to drug abuse, despite the outrage of thousands of newborns being born addicted to opioids.

      Your Sentence: Every 15 minutes, newborns are born to addicted mothers, and the mothers of these babies are drug addicts.

      Every 15 minutes, another addicted mother gives birth to a baby who is born an addict.

      Your Sentence: As a member of American society, I feel how serious the drug problem is.

      As a member of American society, I feel the shame of this terrible problem.

      Your Sentence: Adults and teens are also seeking drugs easily. Also, people can get drugs easily in my state, even though it is illegal.

      Adults and teens in my state and throughout the country find it much too easy to get drugs illegally.

      Your Sentence: In this article said “A single pharmacy in Kermit, W.V., sold more than 13 million over those seven years.”

      According to Kristof, “A single pharmacy in Kermit, W.V., [a town of just 4,000 people] sold more than 13 million [prescription opioid tablets] over seven years.”

      Your Sentence: The problem with drugs gets worse by selling them in easily accessible places.

      Prescription drugs that serve a legitimate purpose when used as directed create terrible psychosis and desperation when they’re abused or over-used.

      Your Sentence: Despite the growing number of drug addicts, hospitals are unlikely to cure them because they are difficult to treat and are unlikely to succeed.

      Despite the growing number of drug addicts, hospitals are unable to keep up with the crisis of thousands of desperately addicted patients.

      Your Sentence: Babies who is born after a prenatal exposure to opioids, they can’t eat, sleep and live in pain.

      Babies born addicted because of prenatal exposure to opioids can’t eat, can’t sleep, and begin their young lives in constant pain.

      Your Sentence: The hospital provides these babies with morphine.

      The best the hospitals can do is provide these babies with morphine for the pain.

      Your Sentence: If babies take this medicine, it may work for a short time, but they are addicted to this medicine, which is causing a more vicious cycle of other problems later.

      But though morphine may work for a short time, it does nothing to break the addiction, and efforts to wean the babies with methadone creates a vicious cycle of methadone addiction.

      Your Sentence: McKinsey and Company, the global consulting company reported that “the opioid crisis will worsen over the next three to five years.”

      McKinsey and Company, the global consulting company, reported that “the opioid crisis will worsen over the next three to five years.”

      Your Sentence: The government have to tighten penalties for those who sell drugs, as well as revise laws related to drugs.

      The government must tighten penalties for those who over-prescribe, wrongly provide, or sell drugs, and must strengthen other laws related to prescription drugs as well.

      Your Sentence: In addition, hospitals must discuss treatment for drug addicts and try to make them cure.

      In addition, hospitals must provide treatment for drug addicts who need it and compel them to defeat their addictions whenever possible.

      I don’t know if this will help you or not, Ahn, but it’s all I can think to do for you. Do you find it useful to have models to compare?

      Like

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