LTE Draft-DrippyDoughnut

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In Gregg Easterbrook’s article “Football Is Here to Stay” Gregg tells us that the concussion rate in all levels of football are slowly decreasing and this is true as he backs this up with many facts. The problem arises when he gives his idea on the topic and that is to stop contact football for the youth and instead play flag football. He also adds in the idea to take away kick off from the whole game. As a current college football player, taking away contact at a young age and taking out the kick off is a terrible idea. For young student athletes wanting to play football at the next level, getting hit and hitting others will be apart of that game. The pace of the game is much faster and by transitioning from no contact to contact is a huge difference maker for the game. By also playing the contact game young, your body will be more prepared to take hits and have more tackling experience. Tackling someone correctly takes practice and if by having no experience, can cause serious injury’s. The game also changes as there would not be as many options for you to get by a defender (stiff arming, lowering your shoulder…etc). There will also be no reason to have lineman which would eliminate 8 players (4 Oline man and 4 Dline man).

As for his comment on taking away kickoff, he is basically asking to put people out of jobs and is trying to gives teams one less way to score points. As are all special teams, kick off is very important. It gives each team a chance to set the tone and also gives you chance to get the ball back if you are down and had just scored. The people of the NFL and NCAA know this so, to keep the athletes safe, the new rule for kickoff that was implemented this year was the no wedge rule. You can no longer create a wall and run forward into the other team. This now creates more even 1 v 1 action to keep the players safe. This rule along with the rule about not hitting those that don’t see you should prevent less injury this year during that part of the game.

Although football is changing to make players even more safe, it can not be dismantled. Before doing whatever it is that you are going to do, you should always look into it. Like many sports, football is a sport just like soccer and hockey in which contact is just a part of the game that you will have to accept. The best way to keep safe is to protect your self by practicing proper technic, keep in shape, and to know what is going on the field at all times. Like with cars, you can make football as safe as you would like but there will always be human error and injuries that occur so, before signing you or your kid up, know what you are getting into.

 

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5 Responses to LTE Draft-DrippyDoughnut

  1. davidbdale says:

    It’s a lot of feedback to absorb, I know, Doughnut, but I mean well.

    Please let me know how you feel about this overload of constructive criticism. Much as I like to give advice, I very quickly start to ignore students who don’t keep the conversation going.

    1. Respond to this feedback with a Reply.
    2. Open your post in Edit and make revisions.
    3. Update your post without creating a new one and without changing its title.
    4. Leave me another Reply to alert me that you’ve made changes.

    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. davidbdale says:

    Hey, Doughnut, I appreciate your conviction on this topic and the specificity of your arguments. You’ll undoubtedly be able to make a compelling argument based on your experience and expertise, but first we’re going to work on your mechanics.

    I’m going to take the unusual step of doing a close examination of your first paragraph and ignoring the others. I haven’t even read them. I will wait to read them until you’ve edited them based on what I offer you on the first paragraph. I hope that’s OK with you.

    Your First Sentence:

    In Gregg Easterbrook’s article “Football Is Here to Stay” Gregg tells us that the concussion rate in all levels of football are slowly decreasing and this is true as he backs this up with many facts.

    —Commas are required when the name follows the type. “In his article, named . . . , he says.” So in your case: In Gregg Easterbrook’s article, “Football Is Here to Stay,” Easterbrook tell us . . . .”
    —I substituted Easterbrook for Gregg because that’s legal. After the first naming of an author (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), the second time we name him, we call him Last Name (King).
    —”The rate” is singular so it requires a singular verb: is. Therefore: “the concussion rate in all levels of football IS slowly decreasing.”
    —I’m taking out the “and” because its use makes readers think Easterbrook made two claims: 1) concussions are in decline and, 2) it’s true.
    —The logic is flawed. His claim is true, but not BECAUSE he backs it up with facts. It would be true whether he backed it up with facts or not.

    SO HERE’S YOUR FIRST SENTENCE REVISED:
    In his article, “Football Is Here to Stay,” Gregg Easterbrook provides ample evidence that concussions are in decline at all levels of football.

    Your Second Sentence:

    The problem arises when he gives his idea on the topic and that is to stop contact football for the youth and instead play flag football.

    —We don’t know there is a problem.
    —Telling us when it arises gets out ahead of your argument.
    —By “his idea on the topic” you most likely mean “his solution to the concussion problem”
    —But you told us concussions are decreasing, so does the problem need a solution?
    —This is even pickier, but, are we, as readers, supposed to prevent youth from tacking and instead, as readers, start playing flag football? It’s what your sentence says.

    SO HERE’S YOUR SECOND SENTENCE HIJACKED AND HELD FOR RANSOM:
    His recommendation that tackling needs to be replaced by flag football for youth leagues is an overreaction to a problem that’s already being solved.

    Your Third Sentence:

    He also adds in the idea to take away kick off from the whole game.

    —This recommendation is for all levels of football, not just youth leagues, so you need to be specific about that.

    SO HERE’S YOUR THIRD SENTENCE HIJACKED AND HELD FOR RANSOM:
    He makes the equally ludicrous recommendation that kickoffs be eliminated from all levels of football including the NFL.

    Your Fourth Sentence:

    As a current college football player, taking away contact at a young age and taking out the kick off is a terrible idea.

    —An “As phrase” modifies the person or situation named immediately after. Think: “As President, I declare war.” In your case, YOU’RE the college football player, so you need to follow the “As phrase” immediately.
    —Three seconds ago you named “eliminating contact” and “eliminating the kickoff” as new Easterbrook’s recommendations. You don’t need to name them again here.

    SO HERE’S YOUR FOURTH SENTENCE HIJACKED:
    As a current college football player, I declare both recommendations terrible.

    Your Fifth Sentence:

    For young student athletes wanting to play football at the next level, getting hit and hitting others will be apart of that game.

    —Hmm. The first category of athletes, the youth athletes, might not be “student” athletes at all.
    —But yes, by the time they’re high school or college football players, they might want to play at “the next level.”
    —But what you mean by “that game” is unclear. You might mean the NFL. You might mean the student level.
    —The word “apart” is different from “a part.” The evidence for that is the difference between “a part of the crowd” and “apart from the crowd.”

    SO HERE’S YOUR FIFTH SENTENCE HIJACKED:
    Youth league, high school, and collegiate athletes aspiring to the NFL need to practice hitting and getting hit.

    Your Sixth Sentence:

    The pace of the game is much faster and by transitioning from no contact to contact is a huge difference maker for the game.

    —You don’t say WHEN the pace of the game gets faster, but I would hazard a guess that it gets faster at EVERY level. You might want to say so.
    —Your use of the word “by” is very confusing.
    —A “difference maker” is judgmentally neutral. You want it to be a big problem. So a different word choice is called for.

    SO HERE’S YOUR SIXTH SENTENCE HIJACKED:
    Transitioning from a “no-tackle” game to the much more physical full contact NFL game would be a brutally difficult and dangerous practice.

    Your Seventh Sentence:

    By also playing the contact game young, your body will be more prepared to take hits and have more tackling experience.

    —I don’t know who you’re talking to, but I have no intention of playing the contact game as a youth, so you can’t mean ME when you say YOU.
    —Best to eliminate the confusing pronouns (especially the very personal YOU), and go with specific nouns.

    SO HERE’S YOUR SEVENTH SENTENCE:
    Much wiser would be to train youthful athletes to take hits and tackle.

    Your Eighth Sentence:

    Tackling someone correctly takes practice and if by having no experience, can cause serious injury’s.

    —This can be blended into the Seventh Sentence.

    SO HERE’S YOUR SEVENTH SENTENCE WITH YOUR EIGHTH SENTENCE ADDED:
    Much wiser would be to avoid injury by training youthful athletes to take hits and tackle.

    Your Ninth Sentence:

    The game also changes as there would not be as many options for you to get by a defender (stiff arming, lowering your shoulder…etc).

    —I guess that in this sentence you’re describing the game using the New Youth Protocol.
    —I don’t see why ALL CONTACT has to be eliminated in order to eliminate tackling of the ball carrier, but maybe I’m missing something.
    —I’ll revise with the understand that you know more about the game than I do.

    SO HERE’S YOUR REVISED NEW NINTH SENTENCE:
    New NFL recruits would also have to transition very quickly to the stiff arm, the lowered shoulder, the “incidental” devastating contact from which they’ve been shielded all their lives.

    Your Tenth Sentence:

    There will also be no reason to have lineman which would eliminate 8 players (4 Oline man and 4 Dline man).

    —Are you sure about this? There are no linemen in flag football? Isn’t it part of the game to rush the quarterback and “put him down” before he can hand off or pass?
    —I’m going to leave this one out since I’m uncertain what to say about it.

    YOUR PARAGRAPH, KIDNAPPED AND HIJACKED:

    In his article, “Football Is Here to Stay,” Gregg Easterbrook provides ample evidence that concussions are in decline at all levels of football. His recommendation that tackling needs to be replaced by flag football for youth leagues is an overreaction to a problem that’s already being solved. He makes the equally ludicrous recommendation that kickoffs be eliminated from all levels of football including the NFL. As a current college football player, I declare both recommendations terrible. Youth league, high school, and collegiate athletes aspiring to the NFL need to practice hitting and getting hit. Transitioning from a “no-tackle” game to the much more physical full contact NFL game would be a brutally difficult and dangerous practice. Much wiser would be to avoid injury by training youthful athletes to take hits and tackle. [If athletes avoid contact until they turn pro,] new NFL recruits would also have to transition very quickly to the stiff arm, the lowered shoulder, the “incidental” devastating contact from which they’ve been shielded all their lives. In other words, taking contact out of the youth game will INCREASE the chances of serious injury in the NFL.

    Like

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