Re: How Jaywalking Could Jam Up the Era of Self-Driving Cars (Editorial, August 1, 2019)
As an 18 year old student at Rowan University who enjoys traveling to different cities around the country. Like many others that like to travel, one thing remains apparent; pedestrian rules are loosely followed by the city’s
population. A major occurrence in these cities is called Jaywalking. Jaywalking is dangerous since these people have no control over the flow of traffic and cannot make the distinction between a yielding car and one that is careening down the road. With the introduction of autonomous cars into today’s society, that only aggravates the problem. With today’s autonomous technology, having a car make the split second decision to slam on the brakes to yield for a pedestrian is such a far fetched idea, and would endanger the public at large. The original concept of the automobile was for an operator to be behind the wheel controlling the cars every movement. Cars are meant to be operated by people, not robots, to make the whole world a much safer place.
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Newspaperlessness 
My first reaction, Bane, is that you need paragraphs to identify your main ideas (one per paragraph). If you have only one main idea, and therefore need only one paragraph, then your post will surely fail for lack of material. So, let’s see if we can agree on where to break your work first, then I’m going to advise you to expand each paragraph meaningfully to make or support your argument.
Here goes:
1. As an 18 year old student at Rowan University who enjoys traveling to different cities around the country. Like many others that like to travel, one thing remains apparent
2. Pedestrian rules are loosely followed by the city’s population. A major occurrence in these cities is called Jaywalking. Jaywalking is dangerous since these people have no control over the flow of traffic and cannot make the distinction between a yielding car and one that is careening down the road.
3. With the introduction of autonomous cars into today’s society, that only aggravates the problem.
With today’s autonomous technology, having a car make the split second decision to slam on the brakes to yield for a pedestrian is such a far fetched idea, and would endanger the public at large.
4. The original concept of the automobile was for an operator to be behind the wheel controlling the cars every movement. Cars are meant to be operated by people, not robots, to make the whole world a much safer place.
Your fewer than 200 words break down into 4 main sections. Each should have a paragraph. And in the case of this post, each needs further development.
Your letter could be summarized very briefly:
Reckless American pedestrians are more likely to be struck by autonomous vehicles than by human-driven cars, so self-driving cars are a bad idea.
There’s plenty to argue about in that thesis, Bane, and thoughtful readers are likely to wonder about them while reading your letter. Are pedestrians thoughtless BECAUSE they expect drivers to slam on the brakes for them? Is it demonstrably true that a self-driving vehicle is LESS LIKELY to pay attention to a pedestrian than a distracted human? If one self-driving vehicle kills one pedestrian, does that make the entire invention a terrible idea? Or do we have to investigate relative risks? The original article itself offers food for thought about how pedestrians and these new cars will interact. React to those ideas in your response.
I hope you find these Notes helpful and not too intrusive, Bane. You can certainly benefit from expanding your piece with additional material.
Please let me know how you feel about the feedback. Much as I like to give advice, I very quickly start to ignore students who don’t keep the conversation going.
1. Respond to this feedback with a Reply.
2. Open your post in Edit and make revisions.
3. Update your post without creating a new one and without changing its title.
4. Leave me another Reply to alert me that you’ve made changes.
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Thank you for the helpful feedback! Always appreciated.
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