Editorial Draft-Cynicalwordsmith

One Teen’s, “How dare you!”, Inspires Movement Across The World

It is undeniable in today’s society the ongoing push from people all around the world, many of them youths, to fight climate change; or to at least do something to protect future generations from the harsh reality mother nature is getting ready to set lose upon them. Sixteen year old Greta Thunberg of Sweden has called out not only the leaders of the world, but humanity in their lack of action against climate change and global warming. Her now famous speech in which she criticizes the people of the United Nations while at the summit, asking, “How dare you!”, has prompted a movement led by the younger generation. The question proposed by Greta’s words still echoes in the backs of minds everywhere, does anything need to be done about the growing predicament of the climate, and if so, what can be done?

Thunberg came under fire by many for not proposing solutions to the various problems she mentioned in her speech. Surely, the world as humanity knows it ceasing to exist is not something the population want her speech was not meant to provide solutions. There are endless ceaseless amounts of scientific sources describing a plethora of solutions and ways to fix the damage we have inflicted on this earth. However, Thunberg even criticizes the ideas provided by scientists all over the world in that they do not provide realistic solutions due to the hard to grasp statistics of climate change. The point was to show how the planet is tired of all the human race has put it through; the ever-growing carbon footprint, the way its animals are treated, the way its nature and life is treated.

And it wants to do something about this. It will not affect the years of previous generations who have shrugged it off because the repercussions do not seem imminent, or because it will cost too much money, or even because it doesn’t fit into a political agenda. It will affect the children, their grandchildren, and so on. They will be the ones left to deal with the melting, blazing planet who is enraged with sky high temperatures and ocean levels. The earth does not care about time, or money, or politics.

In the end it will protect itself. Thunberg’s speech was meant to convey that it will take more than a continuous assembly line of protests and reports on global warming and climate change being funneled into the news every so often. It will take not only the education of the problem, but recognizing that something needs to be done, boundaries have to be pushed, and things must change.

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3 Responses to Editorial Draft-Cynicalwordsmith

  1. davidbdale says:

    Thanks for inviting me, Wordsmith. I think I can help.

    The passion is good here. The focus on a single issue is strong. But the language is all over the place, taking surprising little dead-end turns and losing its way. We get lost, not because we don’t follow your ideas. We can’t follow your sentences.

    Let’s go line by line for awhile.

    It is evident in today’s society the ongoing push from people all around the world, many of them youths, to act in the fight to fix climate change; or to at least do something to protect future generations from the harsh reality mother nature is getting ready to set loose upon them.

    People are fighting here. They are resisting an existential threat. Nature is poised to smite them. The sentence should be violent and potent. But instead unleashing the dogs of war, you hold back from the conflict, distance us from it. The ultimate conclusion of your sentence is that “It is evident.” The fix is easy, but you have to be willing to keep things simple. You have to let your characters “fight climate change” instead of “act in the fight to fix climate change.”

    Sixteen year old Swedish Greta Thunberg has called out not only the leaders of the world, but humanity in their lack of action against climate change and global warming.

    In your first sentence, “people from all around the world, many of them youths” wanted to act, or fight, or do something. Here the target for action are “not only the leaders of the world, but humanity.”

    Her now famous speech in which she criticizes the people of the UN, asking, “How dare you!”, has prompted a movement led by the younger generation.

    Here the message is delivered by Greta to “the people of the UN” by “the younger generation.”

    Many are in controversy over whether or not this situation can be fixed, or if it is even worth fixing.

    And here the actors you need to push your narrative are “many.” The situation “may or may not be fixable.” The problem “may or may not be worth fixing.”

    Your sense that the ideas are “all over the place” is accurate, Wordsmith. Your cast wander on and off the stage as they please. Your scene takes place in the wings or behind the curtains.

    You want to be measured and thoughtful. You are, in fact, measured and thoughtful. Your writing can express that while still being clear and straightforward. First make the boldest claims you can. Then put them into play with one another. They can be complex without being complicated.

    Let’s try this:

    Sixteen-year-old Greta Thunberg is speaking to the world. She is also speaking for the world. When she called out the leaders of the world from her stage at the UN, her “How dare you!” was a cry from Mother Nature, a sharp rebuke for years of neglect and abuse. Youth seem ready for the fight to save the planet for future generations. So will they lead us?

    I didn’t TRY to make this so short, Wordsmith, but I don’t see that I’ve left out anything important.

    Do you find this illustration helpful? It finds its actors: Greta, Nature, World leaders, Youth, and puts them into place, once each, so that their relationship is clear. The conflicts are obvious. And you’re still nuanced because you recognize the situation has not been resolved. We’re not sure yet how much impact her address will have. Because there will be pushback and denial, as illustrated in your next paragraph.

    And ultimately, if we all ignore the primal scream Greta unleashed at the UN (channeling the planet’s anguish), Nature will protect itself, as you conclude. It will shrug us off like a virus and go on, changed, but not nostalgic for us. That complexity is yours to keep if you can express it clearly.

    You with me? I’d love to hear your reactions.

    Like

    • I really enjoyed your feedback! Its reassuring to hear you say you liked the passion, the whole time I was thinking I was being to emotional even for an editorial and needed to make sure I included some factual content besides my own opinion. Thank you for making it clear how I can essentially keep my thoughts on track throughout my writing!

      Like

  2. Whenever you find time Dr. Hodges, I would love to hear how you think I could improve on my structure of my ideas, I felt like I was a little all over the place with connecting my main points together and I feel I started straying from my point of Greta’s speech.

    Like

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