Vancouver is struggling with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to help. Crime rates are rising due to the addicts. Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain. Heroin addicts will commit crimes such as breaking and entering as well as stealing to feed their addiction. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug. The program is to save the city, not the addicts. Addicts will be off the streets and staying out of trouble while being provided the drug. The program will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. Hospitals cannot afford to keep helping addicts who can’t pay their medical bills. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.
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I like to be called David, but “Mister Hodges” and “Professor” are popular choices. My ESL students’ charming alternative, “Mister David,” is my favorite by far.
Good compression and improved fluency. But almost all the verbs are still non-robust verbs “to be.” Sentences read like a list, so the paragraph lacks fluency. After all that, it’s still among the better examples in class.