Editorial Draft-hershey

Is suing the Juul company going to make a decline in the use of underaged children. Various school districts are raging in lawsuits for e-cigarette companies endangering students. Around the U.S school districts are trying its hardest to reverse the epidemic of Juuling. The addictive affects of nicotine has completely hooked the brains of the younger generation. A school district states, “ The Juul explicitly markets its products to youths, leaving schools to shoulder the costs of stopping students from vaping, disciplining them when they break school rules and providing support services when they become addicted”. Valuing has not only created young addicts but it has been affecting the school systems in having to handle the outbreak. Students do not understand the long term effects of the use of this product. The incline has brought has substantial amount of income for e- ciggerrette companies to whereby the affects this product has on people is irrelevant. This is not the beginning of this controversial dilemma since early 2018 the use of Juuls has completely sky rocketed. Public officials have been taking a new stand on the usage of juuling, upcoming studies of the life threatening effects of juul users has severely grown. “Still, a recent survey of thousands of students found that about one in four high school seniors had vaped during the previous 30 days.” It is ironic how companies are skilled in targeting the younger with products that can have terminal long time affects. The importance of the use of Juul’s should be considered detrimental. School Districts are trying to do anything in there path to create this decline. If suing these companies will make a change then why not?

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8 Responses to Editorial Draft-hershey

  1. This is a good topic to do an editorial on, but the problem lies within your claim and opinion. Your claim is stated late into the editorial, which makes the reader lose interest fairly quickly. The opinion from the editorial is never really clearly present throughout this editorial either. But it is not bad.

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  2. Anonymous says:

    I like this editorial and the topic it has, but one problem with it is that its claim starts off late into the editorial. It doesn’t grab the readers attention as soon as the editorial starts. The editorials opinion is not clearly stated either, therefore, this intriguing topic isnt fully understood as to if it’s good or bad.

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  3. yankeefan25 says:

    You seem to know a lot about the topic at hand but it would be useful to make your opinion and stance know as soon as possible. This will keep the reader hooked and really draw them into what you are writing about. It could also be broken up into separate paragraphs which would help with the organization aspect. Other than that I really liked it

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  4. lucbe219 says:

    To keep your readers involved in your paper, you may want to bring your opinion up to the opening of the editorial. Also, it may be helpful to separate your paragraph into two or more so that your readers can distinctively see the breaks in your ideas. However, it was evident that you feel very strongly on your chosen topic which is important because it will greatly help you in communicating your opinions.

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  5. jackso23 says:

    I’ll be back for peer review

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  6. Ill reply to this one

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  7. I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

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    • So, I like your editorial because of the popularity of the issue you’re writing about. It would definitely get a lot of reads. However, I do think some critiquing needs to be done.

      1. You should establish your claim very early on. Your editorial is basically facts and you stating the topic, but you don’t say how you feel until the end. If you want people to stay interested, you should state your claim in a harsh way and stick to it. Only develop one or two paragraphs stating the facts and research, or intertwine your opinion within the facts.
      2. This one is probably obvious but definitely use multiple paragraphs and breaks when writing. It will keep readers interested because it’s not all one jumbled paragraph.

      I look forward to reading your editorial after editing! 🙂

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