Editorial Draft – yankeefan

Marijuana Legalization Should Not Even be a Question

It all started in the year 2000 when Colorado would legalize marijuana for medical use throughout the state. Twelve years later they would vote on and pass the states 64th amendment making it legal for recreational use as well. This sparked cannabis tourism and the conversation to start nationwide about whether marijuana should be legal or not. More and more states have been legalizing it for both medical and recreational use, and other states should start following in Colorado’s footsteps. 

There is a heavy stigma that is attached to the use of marijuana, and it is often times looked at in the same boat as prescription drugs. Of the 38,000 drug overdose deaths that occurred in 2010, none came from the use of marijuana. In fact no one in the history of mankind has ever died from having too much THC (the chemical responsible for the psychological effects of marijuana) in their system. This shows that it is unfair to treat prescription drugs(responsible for 60% of drug overdoses) and marijuana the same. Around 40% of people in the United States have admitted that they have tried marijuana st least one time in their lifetime. 

Though it is a drug, the word “drug” itself makes marijuana seem like it is extremely dangerous and can cause serious harm. If you can stand by the fact that alcohol and tobacco use are legal, then it shouldn’t even be a question as to whether or not you should support the legalization of weed. Alcohol and tobacco combined have caused five times more harm to users and other than marijuana has. It is proven that marijuana is safer than the use of substances that are already legal. There should not even be a debate about whether it should be legal or not, for it will benefit America is plenty of ways.

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24 Responses to Editorial Draft – yankeefan

  1. davidbdale says:

    YankeeFan, whenever I’m offered the change to intervene while a student is selecting the legalization of marijuana as a topic, I slap it to the ground for two good reasons.
    1. I’ve never read a compelling argument that brought anything new to the table.
    2. I’ve never been able to award more than a C- to any “legalize marijuana” essay.

    To make a meaningful contribution to this very tired topic, you’ll need to be VERY creative and VERY specific. And, like every Editorial that appears in a daily paper, yours will need to rise directly from an item of news that happened, like, yesterday.

    To see if the NYTimes could offer you needed inspiration, I went to the Editorial archives and found some useful models for you from the past two decades. Here is a little sample of things you should read to urge you AWAY from the broad and general and TOWARD the specific and timely.

    One does a survey of then-recent moves toward legalization from a variety of jurisdictions (and countries) and manages to touch all the same familiar bases your essay does but by linking those observations to specific newsy occurrences.

    Another draws a nice contrast between the global trend toward legalization nationally or regionally and the backward-looking policies of the one person with the power to thwart that trend, former-Attorney General Jeff Sessions. So again, timely, specific, and newsworthy.

    And again, a year later, when he was still Attorney General and STILL trying to turn back the clock to demonize a substance 7 of 10 Americans would be comfortable de-criminalizing, Jeff Sessions was again the very specific target of an Editorial.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find a way to specificize (a word I just made up that means “to make specific”) your Editorial by linking it to a current or pending piece of legislation, a new study or survey, a conflict between local and national law enforcement, or SOMETHING to yank your observations out of the “received knowledge” of thousands of essays that have preceded yours (roughly half of which I have read with reluctance).

    Here’s one that would be VERY welcome:
    Now that medical marijuana is becoming available to more Americans, doctors need access to good scientific research to guide their prescribing practices, risks need to be studied, benefits of different doses need to be calibrated, etc., as THC becomes part of the clinical toolkit. But THE INSISTENCE of the US government to de-legitimize the value of this particular medicinal drug means NO RESEARCH can be done, NO SAMPLES can be obtained, NO FUNDING can be approved, to determine who should be prescribed how much for how long, and who shouldn’t. So bad medicine is being practiced because marijuana IS STILL classified as a CLASS 1 drug along with heroin.

    Don’t ignore this advice, please. Write something wonderful that everyone (not just I) would be enlightened to read.

    I need your Reply, please, YankeeFan.

    Like

  2. yankeefan25 says:

    Can I please have feedback. I was wondering if there is anything that I need tk add, or is this a version i can just shape to make into my final version.

    Like

  3. kraemercali says:

    I think this was well written, but a little jumbled up. Maybe organizing when you mention what would make your piece slightly more effective. You used facts which supports your cause. I think you have a good standpoint which will make for effective writing.

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  4. I enjoyed reading your writing. It is on a very interesting topic. You made your claim clear in the title of your editorial, however, your claim should be written a little sooner in your writing to intrigue your readers. There is no citation in your writing where it is needed. I believe there should be more information about your last paragraph on how marijuana benefits America as well. Overall, I really like the passion you have on this issue and I completely agree with what you had to say.

    Like

  5. lg102015 says:

    I thought your article was great, I completely agree with your point of view on this issue. I think your points were very strong, but i believe they were brought up too late in the writing. Maybe bring them in a little earlier so the readers aren’t too focused on the background of the legalization. Like what we learned in class the other day with the riddle. You don’t want your writing to focus on something that already happened, you want to talk more about the whats coming up. In this case it would be how and why we should legalize marijuana in our state. But other then that I thought your article was great and very well written !

    Like

  6. athenapup4 says:

    overall I believe your editorial was very good. You were able to convince me you knew what you were talking about using your compelling evidence. There’s not many things in this paper that I could critique. Just going off of what was said in class, state your opinion in the very beginning. No one cares about both sides they just wanna read your side. So instead of stating it later on in the paper, try it in the beginning paragraph.

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  7. Reading your editorial was very intriguing as you can tell you knew what you were talking about. I respect your writing completely and I can tell what you claim is, but you should work on moving it up in your paragraph. You don’t want the reader to be confused about anything and if you included your claim in your first or second sentence they never will be. Also, you make your claim very clear about marijuana legalization, but ruin it by inserting it at the end of the paragraph.

    Don’t forget to hyperlink your sources!!!!

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  8. compclass8 says:

    This is written very well and you can tell by reading this you are very into this topic. When reading your editorial you can overall tell what your opinion is and you claim on this is but you don’t state it strong enough in your first paragraph. It is important to establish your claim early on so many try to improve that in your first paragraph. Also you have a lot of great facts and evidence but maybe add a source you got them from. Overall your editorial is very good, your facts support your claim and you have a very organized structure.

    Like

  9. Jayv23 says:

    I’d like to begin by saying that this is very well written and you seem to have a strong opinion about this topic that many others may as well. I don’t have many things to critique about this writing but from what we learned in class you should indicate your point of view about the topic earlier in the first paragraph. You do make it very clear that you do believe that the use of marijuana should be legalized which is very good. It didn’t lead me to confusing of what side you were on. Overall, I believe that this is very well written.

    Like

  10. Jayv23 says:

    Ill be back to peer review

    Like

  11. Be back to peer review!

    Like

  12. lg102015 says:

    I’ll be back to peer review on this one

    Like

  13. I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

    Like

    • I enjoyed reading your editorial because of the passion you have for the topic. It really shows. I also enjoyed your word choice and sentence structure, it makes for a very mature argument. However, for critique:
      -Establish your claim early on. Don’t leave it for the end.
      -Cite your arguments. We know you didn’t come up with the facts since you put them in quotations, so let us know where you got them by citing or hyperlinking 🙂
      -Cite your arguments cite your arguments cite your arguments.

      Like

  14. All ideas are talked about in the right order with good organization. Last paragraph is kind of repetitive, though.

    Like

  15. hershey515 says:

    I’ll peer review

    Like

  16. comp0327 says:

    I’ll peer review

    Like

    • comp0327 says:

      Hi! So I’d like to begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading your writing. You make wonderful use of language, and you seem invested in the topic. Going into the critique, though, there’s just a few things:
      Filter use of the word would in the first paragraph.
      More commas are needed also. A few sentences become run-on, break them with a comma.
      Make the side for which you are arguing more clear from the beginning of your editorial. You waited until the last sentence of the first paragraph to state your standpoint.
      Your facts also support your claim well!
      I also think you should specify the “plenty of ways” as described in the last paragraph that marijuana legalization would benefit Americans.

      Like

  17. I’ll be back for peer review

    Like

  18. athenapup4 says:

    be back to review this one

    Like

  19. compclass8 says:

    be back to provide peer review for this one

    Like

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