Editorial Draft — drpaleontology

Earth Cannot Satisfy Greed

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed”. Mahatma Gandhi said it best, and even though those words were spoken almost eighty years ago , they are still as relevant today as they were back then. The Trump administration is a prime example of taking advantage of Earth’s precious resources and the inhabitants that live within it. Over the almost four year term, Trump and his group of harriers have rolled back fifty three laws aimed at helping the animals and plants on this planet, as well as the citizens of not only the United States, but of Earth.

Every single one of the laws taken back were meant to aide the lives of billions. We all live on this planet and we are the ones destroying it. Any tiny bit of help can bring relief to someone. Now as mentioned, fifty three laws are already rolled back, but thirty two are still in progress. Of these will impact, air quality, water quality, toxic substance removal, animal wellness, and increased drilling and mining for fossil fuels.

As a species, we have no time to waste. Saving what we love on this planet, must come above the economic benefits to large industries such as oil companies. Some examples of laws rolled back include, the relaxation and ending of limiting emissions from a multitude of air pollutants such as industrial factories. Air pollution is a large contributing factor to climate change, and every degree raised in temperature will result in “thousands of extra deaths” every year. The raise in temperature means more melt on the polar regions of earth, and another issue that the Trump Administration made public is that they loosened aide efforts on regions where the rise in sea level may come into effect in the coming future.

Water pollution is another extremely important issue in this country, and on this planet. Our planet’s surface is composed 70% of water. Of that 70% only 2.5% of it is fresh water. Even with that, only 1% of all water on earth is freshwater, and easily accessed. Protection should come at all costs for what we have of this life giving essentiality. Five laws total have already been rolled back that will harm the water quality of select regions. These laws can implement old habits such as coal companies “dumping mining debris into local streams” and withdrawing a rule in which ground water must be protected from uranium mines.

Planet Earth is not owned by us, it is shared by the billions if not trillions of species present. Endangered species in almost every case, are endangered due to human actions. The Trump administration is doing what they can to make it increasingly difficult to protect wildlife from this ever growing issue. They would rather see economic success with big businesses, than see an endangered species rehabilitated back into the world. For example, the administration attempted to remove Grizzly bears from the endangered species list with little luck, because the public refused to give in to this type of arrogance.

This may seem like all hope is lost, but humans are a resilient species. Do not give in to the Trump Administration’s wrongdoings. Americans never give into a foreign bully, so why should we give into one right here at home. The election is coming fast, so what we all must do is pick the right candidate who can help not just our lives, but those of our future generations.

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4 Responses to Editorial Draft — drpaleontology

  1. morra2024 says:

    drpaleontology,
    I will do my best to help you. Perhaps I may not able to advise you on things like identifying logical flow and persuasiveness, as this is my own weak spot, I will share some things with you that I noticed. I will start off with grammar, as it is one of my more stronger points:
    1. four-year term
    2. single one of the laws WAS meant to aide
    3. Endangered species, in almost every case, are endangered due to human actions – forgot a comma here before “in almost every case.”
    4. … why should we give into one right here at home? – rhetorical question, most likely requires a question mark
    5. In general, do not forget about the commas and periods before before the phrase “such as” and closing quotation marks .

    Non-grammatical recommendations:
    1. In what way are Gandhi’s words still relevant?
    2. In what way were the cancelled laws meant to aide the lives of billions?
    3. How could relief be brought to someone?
    4. You might want to rephrase the sentence that begins with “Of these.” It confuses me as the reader because of how it’s worded ( “out of which” would be a better choice in my opinion) and how it implies that even fewer of the original number of laws will impact the things you listed.
    5. Similar to my previous point, I was confused about your use of percentages: you start off with 2.5% and then mention 1%. Maybe chaining the phrases “fresh” and “easily accessible” together would make it sound more cohesive.
    6. Last point – I find it illogical how you first state that the administration “would rather see economic success with big businesses, than see an endangered species rehabilitated back into the world,” and provide an unrelated example of they “attempted to remove Grizzly bears from the endangered species list with little luck,” (which isn’t an example of how they would choose economic success over something else). If the example had been used with a word like “fortunately,” it would have made more sense, at least to me.

    Overall, I agree with lelebxbcy that you did a great job. Hope my feedback will help you to improve!

    Like

  2. lelebxby says:

    – You have a really good opening! Really nice use of the Gandhi quote to draw the reader in.
    – You saying “… helping the animals and plants of this planet…” and “…but of Earth” in the same sentence is kind of repeating itself. Instead try something along the lines of “… helping human life, plants, and the animals on this planet.”
    -You don’t need the comma after “… love on this planet.”
    -By showing the statistics and facts of air emissions and water pollution, it shows your credentials of how well informed you actually are on the subject.
    Overall you wrote a really strong editorial and after a few grammar fix-ups, it’ll be perfect.

    Like

  3. morra2024 says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review for this one.

    Like

  4. lelebxby says:

    I’ll be back to provide peer review.

    Like

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