Robust Verbs – Lelebxby

Original:

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Edited:

Across Vancouver the “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the growing crime rates of heroin addicts. Those addicted to heroin find difficulty getting through their daily lives and experience struggles in maintaining relationships, performing basic interactions, and performing jobs solely because of the substance abuse. Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on the drug to feed their addiction, even if that means breaking and entering or stealing. The problem with the program is that it’s only trying to save the city from the rising crime rates rather than actually helping to ween the addicts off using heroin. By providing the drug, the addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes while keeping the heroin users out of the hospital. For, it’s pointless for hospitals to deal with people who are unable to cope without the drug. As a result, the users continue to abuse heroin and find themselves unable to afford the hospital bills. Though “free heroin for addicts” will fix the city’s crime rate, it gives addicts heroin in the cleanest way possible and does nothing to change the addiction the users face. 

Gallery | This entry was posted in lelebxby, Robust Verbs. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Robust Verbs – Lelebxby

  1. davidbdale says:

    I didn’t expect a Feedback Please request for the Robust Verbs exercise, Lele, but I’m glad you’re interested. Let’s take a look. On the first pass, I’ll check for uncorrected ERRORS.

    Across Vancouver the “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything THEY can to stop the growing crime rates of heroin addicts. Those addicted to heroin find difficulty getting through their daily lives and experience struggles in maintaining relationships, performing basic interactions, and performing jobs solely because of the substance abuse. Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on the drug to feed their addiction, even if that means breaking and entering or stealing. The problem with the program is that it’s only trying to save the city from the rising crime rates rather than actually helping to ween the addicts off using heroin. BY PROVIDING THE DRUG, THE ADDICTS will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes while keeping the heroin users out of the hospital. For, it’s pointless for hospitals to deal with people who are unable to cope without the drug. As a result, the users continue to abuse heroin and find themselves unable to afford the hospital bills. Though “free heroin for addicts” will fix the city’s crime rate, it gives addicts heroin in the cleanest way possible and does nothing to change the addiction the users face.

    That was easy. You’ve left or created only two errors.
    This time, let’s see if we can streamline a bit.

    In Vancouver, the “free heroin for addicts” program is lowering the crime rate. Addicts who can’t get through their daily lives, who struggle to maintain relationships, perform basic functions, and keep a job, will rob, steal, break and enter to get their fix. The program reduces crime by meeting the addicts’ needs, but it doesn’t ween the addicts from heroin. Providing the drug keeps the addicts from committing street crimes and out of the hospital, where doctors can only treat the symptoms without addressing the addiction. Left to their own, addicts continue to abuse heroin and rack up unaffordable hospital bills. “Free heroin for addicts” will reduce the city’s crime rate by giving addicts heroin in the cleanest way possible, but it does nothing to end the addiction.

    Granted, that was a more radical revision than you probably thought I intended, but the original is SOOOOO bad I get carried away.

    Can you do your own SUPER RADICAL rewrite that is just as short and MORE POSITIVE? Try taking the attitude that all the program was ever SUPPOSED to do was reduce the crime rate, and you’re OK with that.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s