Robust Verbs – Valcom

Vancouver has a huge problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. It is known that the addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain due to the use of the drug. Heroin users will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. Crimes committed by the addicts are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help the addicts get off the use of heroin. This clinic will only help the city take the addicts off the street. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes but also keep the addicts out of the hospital. Hospitals have to deal with addicts that want to use bad drugs but also unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford the hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives out free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

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3 Responses to Robust Verbs – Valcom

  1. davidbdale says:

    Corrects some errors but introduces very few robust verbs. Five of the first seven sentences still use “to be.”

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  2. Valcom says:

    Thank you!

    Section 2. Crimes committed by the addicts are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

    Didn’t even think about that ! Thank you for the feedback.

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  3. davidbdale says:

    Good first steps, Valcom. Want to eliminate repetition and combine/streamline claims for this sections your paragraph seems to have?

    Section 1. Vancouver has a huge problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. It is known that the addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain due to the use of the drug. Heroin users will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

    Section 2. Crimes committed by the addicts are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

    Section 3. The problem with this program is that it won’t help the addicts get off the use of heroin. This clinic will only help the city take the addicts off the street. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes but also keep the addicts out of the hospital. Hospitals have to deal with addicts that want to use bad drugs but also unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford the hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

    Section 4. This program gives out free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

    This would be either Phase 3 or the finishing touches on your Phase 2.

    Liked by 1 person

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