Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to brevity and clarity
and the making of bold, clear claims.

And to the Core Values of the Writing Arts Department:

  • Writing is social and multi-stage
  • Revisions are needed on every page
  • My readings will be critical
  • My writing analytical
  • And I would rather die than plag(iarize).

I pledge to never use 2nd person, to ever say “due to” for any reason, or to ask a rhetorical question. My voice is “we,” my citations informal, my first draft is crap and so is my last, I will hunt down and cross out my favorite sentence, and periods always always always always always belong inside the quotes. And so do commas.

This and more I pledge to remember in return for feedback and cake. And if anyone asks, the answer is NO, we don’t have a final exam.


As a first draft, this pledge is quite obviously lousy. I invite recommendations, reviews, suggested revisions, and additional commandments. Thank you.

About davidbdale

Inventor of and sole practitioner of 299-word Very Short Novels.
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5 Responses to Pledge of Allegiance

  1. vermster71comp says:

    “The final exam is fake”


  2. bloo1comp says:

    Needs to rhyme more. Would be funny if it was structured like the actual pledge of allegiance.


  3. Domia abr Wyrda says:

    You may think the cake is a lie, but it is not


  4. vermster71comp says:

    Yes, this draft is crap. However, I do feel that it is funny enough to keep it the same. There are rhymes involved and I like it “as a joke.”


  5. thefluxcapacitor1comp says:

    Not enough cake.


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