LTE Draft – ahntkd99

Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk

To The Editor:

RE https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/07/opinion/sunday/babies-opioid-addiction-west-virginia.html?searchResultPosition=1

In Nicholas Kristof’s September 7th, 2019 article “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” this article argues that there are no solutions about drugs, even though many newborns are exposed to drugs and are struggling to struggle in America. Every 15 minutes, newborns are born exposed to drugs, and the mothers of these babies are drug addicts. Drugs are easily exposed to newborns as well as to ordinary life.

              As a member of American society, I feel how serious the drug problem is. Adults and teens are also seeking drugs easily. Also, people can get drugs easily in my state, even though it is illegal. In this article said “A single pharmacy in Kermit, W.V., sold more than 13 million over those seven years.” The problem with drugs gets worse by selling them in easily accessible places. Despite the growing number of drug addicts, hospitals are unlikely to cure them because they are difficult to treat and are unlikely to succeed. Babies who is born after a prenatal exposure to opioids, they can’t eat, sleep and live in pain. The hospital provides these babies with morphine. If babies take this medicine, it may work for a short time, but they are addicted to this medicine, which is causing a more vicious cycle of other problems later.

              McKinsey and Company, the global consulting company reported that “the opioid crisis will worsen over the next three to five years.” The government have to tighten penalties for those who sell drugs, as well as revise laws related to drugs. In addition, hospitals must discuss treatment for drug addicts and try to make them cure.

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2 Responses to LTE Draft – ahntkd99

  1. ahntkd99 says:

    Thank you so much for the specific feedback. I will try my best with my writing skill next time. Also, I will try to edit draft as much as I can and I will make it to be a good draft.

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  2. davidbdale says:

    In Nicholas Kristof’s September 7th, 2019 article “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” this article argues that there are no solutions about drugs, even though many newborns are exposed to drugs and are struggling to struggle in America. Every 15 minutes, newborns are born exposed to drugs, and the mothers of these babies are drug addicts. Drugs are easily exposed to newborns as well as to ordinary life.

    Ahn, I don’t ordinarily focus on grammar and sentence structure in a first draft, but here it seems appropriate to urge you to keep your language clean and straightforward to improve its clarity. I’m going to take the first paragraph bit by bit.

    In Nicholas Kristof’s September 7th, 2019 article “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” this article argues

    If we remove the material in the middle, your sentence reads: “In the article . . . the article argues.” What I’m sure you mean is that Nicholas Kristof makes an argument in his article.

    this article argues that there are no solutions about drugs, even though many newborns are exposed to drugs and are struggling to struggle in America.

    Of course you don’t mean that they struggle to struggle. Just as important, saying that “newborns are exposed to drugs” does not make the correct and more frightening claim that they are born “ALREADY ADDICTED” to drugs.

    Every 15 minutes, newborns are born exposed to drugs, and the mothers of these babies are drug addicts. Drugs are easily exposed to newborns as well as to ordinary life.

    The first sentence includes a claim that can be expressed much more simply as “born to addicted mothers.” I don’t know what you mean by the last sentence.

    In his September 7th, 2019 article “These Newborn Babies Cry for Drugs, Not Milk,” Nicholas Kristof argues that there are no easy solutions to the problem of babies born addicted to drugs. Every 15 minutes in America, a baby born to an addicted mother begins life as an addict who must suffer withdrawal.

    Even this is a little repetitive. Would you like help of this sort for the rest of your post, or should we focus on your argument and evidence first, then do grammar and syntax improvements after your post takes shape?

    1. Please leave a Comment to indicate your reaction.
    2. Feel free to follow the Feedback Please technique to request more interference after you’ve made significant revisions. I very quickly learn to ignore students who do not engage in the recursive feedback process.

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