At the start of the letter it is unclear where the citation comes from, it could come from either the editor so the reader knows which article the letter is referring to or it was added by the writer initially. If it were added by the writer of the letter then they should have involved it in the start of the letter. Whichever one it comes from the citation states all of the needed information. The letter then takes a heavy stance against the editor by sharing a personal experience which denounces what the article has to say. This is a strong way to form an objection on what the editor has written about. They then go on to talk about their own personal experiences and the experiences of those who are in the same walk of life. This offers credibility in knowledge of the subject, while also making known that they do in fact know what they are talking about when it comes to this matter. The writer of the letter follows this with more to the story than what was included in the original article. They make sure to say that there is more to it than just the fact that more jobs are being created. They say that though there are more jobs being created, those are not quality jobs. This covers the “Premise” section of Ten Compenants of writing letters to the editor. The next section is where they are missing a key component. They do not have a defining fact to back up all of the stance that they are taking. They could have better used this portion by putting in one major defining fact to back up their point. The next section of the components they also are lacking. They bypass the “Hopeful Proposal” and go right to the final two points of emphasis. They hit hit the nail on the head of the final two points. They come back to telling the horror stories of their hometown and how bad it truly is despite the creation of these new jobs. They finally end with two questions that they would like to be asked to the president. This perfectly fits the “Call to Action”, and is a great example of a way that they could have ened their letter to the editor.
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Strong work, Yankeefan. Covers the assignment well though the writing itself could be crisper, less vague.
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