LTE Draft-lucbe219

05/09/19
Re “How to Manage Your Mental Illness at Work” 
(Article, Aug. 29, 2019)

Mental Health in Public

To the Editor: 

Eric Ravenscrafts article, “How to Manage Your Mental Illness at Work,” brought to light the real ugliness of mental illnesses. In response to the special accommodations at work reported to be given to those dealing with mental health issues, I believe that many people would not speak up for those accommodations because they would not want to burden others around them.

[paragraph break inserted] For many people living with mental health issues, it is the same as or sometimes even more important than their physical health. Although it is almost 10 times harder to realize that someone is suffering through a mental illness than a physical illness, it is super important that they are aided by therapists, or in worse cases, medical doctors.

For almost twelve years I have been personally battling with mental health issues which have hindered my ability to live my life the way I aspire to. Dealing with a mental illness in everyday life is challenging enough without the unwanted discrimination from those who do not quite understand like coworkers, employers, or even mentors for example. Although there are laws to protect the mentally ill in the workplace, many employers tend to sweep it under the rug, as they think it is not a valid excuse to be treated differently.

[paragraph break inserted] If we as a country continue neglecting the fact that mental illnesses are real, we will be living in a society where people will feel trapped and helpless. It is owed to future generations to change our mindsets in schools and workplaces on mental health. It is absolutely crucial that we start paying more attention to the well being of those around us and to take mental health and the laws to protect its sufferers much more seriously, especially in schools and places of employment. 

Gallery | This entry was posted in LTE Draft, lucbe219. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to LTE Draft-lucbe219

  1. lucbe219 says:

    Thank you for the feedback, I am going to begin by fixing the format and adding more content to each paragraph of my letter as well.

    Like

  2. davidbdale says:

    NEXT: If I’m the Editor deciding what letters get published and what letters do not, why would I publish yours? Are you amplifying, contradicting, broadening or narrowing, refuting, or are you merely echoing the original article? You’ll have to do SOMETHING original to claw your way into print.

    Is Ravenscraft delusional? just lucky? misguided? incorrect? What about his recommendation that you share the facts of your condition with your employer and insist on your rights is wrong?

    My best guess is that you would argue, “What makes my letter publishable is that I’m advocating for those who find it hard to face up to the discrimination they believe—rightly or wrongly—they will face if they disclose their condition.” And that would be good. But how does it differ from Eric Ravenscraft’s position? I’m not saying it doesn’t. I’m challenging you to own the difference. To enhance the difference. To sell the Editors on the difference.

    How could a better title help? How could stronger opening help? How could a clearer thesis statement help?

    Again I’ll ask you to let me know how you feel about this, Lucbe, unless you think I can’t help you.

    Like

  3. davidbdale says:

    Hey, Lucbe!

    You have a good thing going here. You’ve chosen an article with personal relevance, something about which you feel passionately and will want to write effectively. Good choice. Your primary attitude comes through clearly, and you’re expressing yourself with conviction. All good. Now, let’s see if we can CRAFT that message to be the most effective version of itself.

    Let’s start with paragraphs. If I recall correctly, your first first draft was one unbroken block of text. You broke that into three, which was a good start. But clearly what you have here is the beginning of a five paragraph essay, each with one main idea. Question is: “How should I further develop each of these five main ideas?”

    Uncertain is whether the paragraphs are in the right order. Once the main ideas are identified, you may discover they should be differently ordered. (Consider 2, 3, 1, 4, 5, for example.)

    1. Eric Ravenscrafts article, “How to Manage Your Mental Illness at Work,” brought to light the real ugliness of mental illnesses. In response to the special accommodations at work reported to be given to those dealing with mental health issues, I believe that many people would not speak up for those accommodations because they would not want to burden others around them.
    [MAIN IDEA: Mental illness sufferers are reluctant to ADMIT their condition to employers.]

    2. [paragraph break inserted] For many people living with mental health issues, it is the same as or sometimes even more important than their physical health. Although it is almost 10 times harder to realize that someone is suffering through a mental illness than a physical illness, it is super important that they are aided by therapists, or in worse cases, medical doctors.
    [MAIN IDEA: Proper care is essential for workers with mental health conditions.]

    3. For almost twelve years I have been personally battling with mental health issues which have hindered my ability to live my life the way I aspire to. Dealing with a mental illness in everyday life is challenging enough without the unwanted discrimination from those who do not quite understand like coworkers, employers, or even mentors for example. Although there are laws to protect the mentally ill in the workplace, many employers tend to sweep it under the rug, as they think it is not a valid excuse to be treated differently.
    [MAIN IDEA: The mentally ill continue to suffer discrimination.]

    4. [paragraph break inserted] If we as a country continue neglecting the fact that mental illnesses are real, we will be living in a society where people will feel trapped and helpless. It is owed to future generations to change our mindsets in schools and workplaces on mental health. It is absolutely crucial that we start paying more attention to the well being of those around us and to take mental health and the laws to protect its sufferers much more seriously, especially in schools and places of employment.
    [MAIN IDEA: The country needs a change of attitude.]

    5. [paragraph inserted] The consequences of failing to do so will be . . . .
    [MAIN IDEA: The costs of failing to accommodate mental illness are astronomical.]

    Please let me know how you feel about this, Lucbe. Much as I like to talk, I very quickly start to ignore students who don’t keep the conversation going.

    Like

  4. davidbdale says:

    Thank you for posting early, Lucbe.
    I haven’t read your submission yet, but the first thing I notice is that it is not properly categorized. When you open it in Edit mode, you’ll find the Categories menu in the right-hand sidebar. Use that checklist to select Your Username and the name of the assignment: LTE Draft. Be sure also to UNCHECK the 123 Uncheck this box! checkbox.

    Also, no matter how short, an essay about a complex matter will always break naturally into paragraphs containing one main idea each. Yours likely needs to be three if not five paragraphs. Once you break it down, you’ll be able to see what ideas are well supported and what ideas need help.

    I don’t mean to start our conversation with a negative note, but I do want to be able to find your work later when I have time to consider it properly. Thanks!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s