To the Editor:
Re: “We Still Don’t Know How Safe Vaping Is” Published Sept. 5th, 2019
In the article, the Editorial Board discuss the issues surrounding vaping and how health issues have skyrocketed, especially in youth. In response to only a couple states taking action in banning e-cigarettes, I believe all states should ban them for good. It’s hard to see how vaping could be appealing, until realized they put them on the market as a “safe” alternative to cigarettes. According to health officials, based on existing evidence, most doctors and scientists think e-cigarettes are safer than regular cigarettes. Marketing vapes as safe is false but marketing them as “safer” is a whole other concept that is debated everyday. Statistics show that teens are more likely to use e-cigarettes rather than regular cigarettes, of course. Despite the fact that it’s what the “popular” kids are doing nowadays, it’s much harder to stop. It’s an addiction. It would seem easy for parents to stop their kids from vaping but they closely resemble flash drives. I had a friend who use to vape and ended up in the emergency room on separate occasions. Vapes are filled with many unknown chemicals, where most of these chemicals can cause eye nasal and respiratory tract irritations. Vapes are harmful, just like cigarettes. We should begin by starting to ‘ID check’ everyone who tries to buy these e-cigarettes. Moving forward, they should begin banning vapes and limiting use of e-cigarettes, as well as regular cigarettes.
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Newspaperlessness 
When your 250 words breaks down into 8 main ideas, most of them receiving just a single sentence of development, one of two things is wrong. EITHER you’re trying to cover too many ideas in a very small space, OR you haven’t identified your main ideas at all, and what we’re reading instead are minor details that SHOULD cluster into paragraphs to support two or three main ideas.
You try to address the position of the original editorial, your proposals for solving a health crisis, the history of vape marketing that created the problem, the conflicting opinions about vape safety, the addictive nature of the product, the ways it appeals to youth, the types of health problems vape can cause, and the relative safety of vape and tobacco smoke.
There’s plenty of room in a well-organized Letter to the Editor for these ideas and details, Imagination, but you should start with an outline to plan the sequence of your remarks to guide your reader from one to the other.
I hope you find these Notes helpful and not too intrusive, Imagination. You have plenty of good material here that needs a more organized approach.
Please let me know how you feel about the feedback. Much as I like to give advice, I very quickly start to ignore students who don’t keep the conversation going.
1. Respond to this feedback with a Reply.
2. Open your post in Edit and make revisions.
3. Update your post without creating a new one and without changing its title.
4. Leave me another Reply to alert me that you’ve made changes.
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Thank you very much for the feedback! I find it very helpful and clear as to which parts I need to revise to make it better.
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Good to hear, Imagination. I look forward to seeing your revisions.
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You haven’t placed this post in your Username category, Imagination. It will be hard to find and credit you for this work if you don’t.
My first reaction is that you need paragraphs to identify your main ideas (one per paragraph). If you have only one main idea, and if therefore need only one paragraph, then your post will surely fail for lack of material. So, let’s see if we can agree on where to break your work first, then I’m going to advise you to expand each paragraph meaningfully to make or support your argument.
Here goes:
1. In the article, the Editorial Board discuss the issues surrounding vaping and how health issues have skyrocketed, especially in youth.
2. In response to only a couple states taking action in banning e-cigarettes, I believe all states should ban them for good.
3. It’s hard to see how vaping could be appealing, until realized they put them on the market as a “safe” alternative to cigarettes. According to health officials, based on existing evidence, most doctors and scientists think e-cigarettes are safer than regular cigarettes. Marketing vapes as safe is false but marketing them as “safer” is a whole other concept that is debated everyday.
4. Statistics show that teens are more likely to use e-cigarettes rather than regular cigarettes, of course.
5. Despite the fact that it’s what the “popular” kids are doing nowadays, it’s much harder to stop. It’s an addiction.
6. It would seem easy for parents to stop their kids from vaping but they closely resemble flash drives.
7. I had a friend who use to vape and ended up in the emergency room on separate occasions. Vapes are filled with many unknown chemicals, where most of these chemicals can cause eye nasal and respiratory tract irritations. Vapes are harmful, just like cigarettes.
8. We should begin by starting to ‘ID check’ everyone who tries to buy these e-cigarettes. Moving forward, they should begin banning vapes and limiting use of e-cigarettes, as well as regular cigarettes.
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