LTE Draft—ajuuy

Today’s politicians need to open their eyes and stop worrying about how much money is in their bank accounts. In the article, “Climate Change Denialists in Charge,” we learn what multiple influencers think about the warming of our country. They are outrageous for not believing that the temperatures are rising. Not only are the carbon levels the highest they’ve been in years but nothing is being done about it because men like Stephen Bannon are persuading the President to pull out from the Paris agreement to decrease carbon pollution. 

As a teen in this generation it is hard to watch people with power sit back and do nothing to save the environment. With the way the climate is increasing it will eventually lead to an increase in the weather such as droughts, fires, flooding and more which will slowly destroy resources and damage ecosystems. Although the California Wildfires were started by people, their massive outcomes are from the warm air taking all the moisture out of plants leaving them more flammable. The businessmen of today need to start taking action before it is too late. 

The rising temperature will affect the length of the seasons, increase intensity for hurricanes, bring more drought and heat waves, and more if nothing is done to stop it. The first action that should be taken is acknowledgement by the politicians. They should move forward with laws to decrease the greenhouse gases which are making the carbon levels rise. The future generations do not deserve to be brought into a world with the burden of having to watch their carbon footprint because the people before them let climate change become irreversible. The public needs to be more aware about the effects of greenhouse gases polluting the air for the future of this country and the president should be the one advocating. 


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4 Responses to LTE Draft—ajuuy

  1. davidbdale says:

    You write well, ajuuy, and this is already a credible draft, but one that needs better organization, some time-line tweaks, and a few hard facts.

    1. You blame Bannon for persuading the President to pull out of the Paris agreement in P1.
    2. At the same time, you blame politicians for lining their pockets at the expense of the planet.
    3. Then in P2 you demand businesspeople carry your torch, and,
    4. in P3 you demand politicians acknowledge global warming. You demand that they pass laws. You demand that the public “be made aware” of the problem. And you demand that the president take the lead.
    5. All are legitimate demands, but Congress, the president, business leaders, and the media would have to take responsibility simultaneously to satisfy you.
    6. Yet nowhere do you say, which you should, that we’ve been let down by EVERYONE who could make a difference, or suggest why that might be.
    7. Does business have so much power to get politicians elected that they, ultimately, call the shots? Or do you have another explanation?

    1. Because you’ve selected an article from 2017, you’re reacting to old news. Bannon is no longer a presidential adviser, Trump already pulled us out of the Paris accord, and several of the other criminals you name have already been fired or have quit their positions.
    2. You can write your Letter AS IF it had been written in 2017, or you can write a RETROSPECTIVE letter that acknowledges you got very dismayed looking back at an old article to see how much of what was conjecture then has already taken place.
    3. The climate has gotten much worse since 2017, and you can say so now that the evidence is in.

    1. Pretty much every prediction you make about what WILL happen has already happened, and the evidence is not hard to find.
    2. Do some quick research and add a fact or two to support your claims about carbon levels, bigger and more devastating storms, catastrophic droughts.
    3. You drop a hint but don’t make enough of the IRREVERSIBILITY factor. As a teen you have every right to worry that it may already be TOO LATE to avoid the cascading effects of a climate that spins completely out of control. By the time EVERY POLITICIAN agrees about the obvious problem it will literally be IMPOSSIBLE to solve, if it isn’t already.

    I hope you find these Notes helpful and not too intrusive, ajuuy. You’re on the right track, but you need to focus your objection, name your villains in an organized fashion, and provide more compelling evidence.

    Please let me know how you feel about the feedback. Much as I like to give advice, I very quickly start to ignore students who don’t keep the conversation going.


    • ajuuy7 says:

      Thank you so much for the feedback. I will take into consideration everything you have to say about my writing and I am looking forward to becoming a better writer in your class.


      • davidbdale says:

        Wonderful to hear, ajuuy. Now that you’ve responded to the feedback, you can move on to steps 2-4.

        1. Respond to this feedback with a Reply.
        2. Open your post in Edit and make revisions.
        3. Update your post without creating a new one and without changing its title.
        4. Leave me another Reply to alert me that you’ve made changes.

        I look forward to seeing your revisions.


  2. davidbdale says:

    A reminder to rename your post LTE—ajuuy and to move your Title where it belongs. Thank you. I will withhold feedback until you make this correction.


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