LTE Draft—athenapup

Insert Title Here

Letter to the Editor:

In Mary Ziegler’s July 11, 2019 article about “The End of the Rape and Incest Exception” the topic of why rape and incest cases are no longer “justifiable” or are no longer included as “exceptions” to abortions are discussed. In the article it is claimed that many women “cry rape” in order to get their abortions reimbursed which is absolutely the most horrifying and degrading rebuttal against abortion and “pro-choice” arguments. A topic discussed that is supported and simply “suggested” by the Hyde Amendment. 

I, a WOMEN who believes it is HER choice to decide on whether or not she should keep the fetus have a few facts to present to you. The abortion rate due to rape and incest is actually extremely low. Only about .13% of abortions have been filed because of rape and incest combined. This is about 1 in every 770.6. Therefore proving the statement the Hyde Amendment “suggested” that most women lie and say they were raped in order to be reimbursed in completely inaccurate. Rape and incest is again, the lowest reasoning for abortion. Depression levels in women will rise due to the unwanted feeling for the child, a higher number of kids will be born into poverty, and after birth the rate of kids put into adoption will increase. Ultimately reshaping our community. 

Instead of banning abortions all together like the states of Alabama, Lousiana, Ohio and Mississippi instead set restrictions for abortions having ANY reason. A good restriction to start off with is that you could no longer receive an abortion after the first trimester. This gives the mother enough time to decide what she wants to do with her body and what would be best for her. 

If we do not support our women in the decisions they are making today about they’re OWN body, especially in the case of rape and incest by rape, you will see a huge shift in our environment. It is up to the women and the government to listen to the women in order to fix this issue and fix the state bans on abortions. Having a child born with a mother who does not want it is causing self destruction in the mother and the child. A child who feels unwanted is one of the most heartbreaking things that needs to be avoided. To support abortions there are many websites you can to help sign petitions on bans against abortions as well as donations to abortion clinics and women clinics like Planned Parenthood.

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2 Responses to LTE Draft—athenapup

  1. Athenapup4 says:

    I would like to start off by thanking you for the feedback given. I’m always open to learning on how to improve my writing and this is the type of editing I was hoping for. Your response made things much more clear and helped me correct my mistakes very easily. I do wish to continue receiving feedback like this as it helps me see my mistakes and how to better them.

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  2. davidbdale says:

    Hey, Athena, let’s start with an overview of your structure and argument and save grammar and syntax improvements for later drafts. I want to encourage you to examine your reasoning and your position before you start falling in love with improved sentences.

    In Mary Ziegler’s July 11, 2019 article about “The End of the Rape and Incest Exception” the topic of why rape and incest cases are no longer “justifiable” or are no longer included as “exceptions” to abortions are discussed. In the article it is claimed that many women “cry rape” in order to get their abortions reimbursed which is absolutely the most horrifying and degrading rebuttal against abortion and “pro-choice” arguments. A topic discussed that is supported and simply “suggested” by the Hyde Amendment.

    An essential component of the Letter to the Editor is to distinguish your own point of view from the original author’s. To do so, you need to be clear about what the author argues. From the sound of your first paragraph, Mary Ziegler believes rape and incest are no longer good enough reasons to overrule abortion bans. You suggest that she accuses women of crying rape to get their abortions funded. I don’t think you mean to do that. And you probably agree she means no such thing. She’s reporting on positions taken by others. But you don’t make that clear.

    I, a WOMEN who believes it is HER choice to decide on whether or not she should keep the fetus have a few facts to present to you. The abortion rate due to rape and incest is actually extremely low. Only about .13% of abortions have been filed because of rape and incest combined. This is about 1 in every 770.6. Therefore proving the statement the Hyde Amendment “suggested” that most women lie and say they were raped in order to be reimbursed in completely inaccurate. Rape and incest is again, the lowest reasoning for abortion. Depression levels in women will rise due to the unwanted feeling for the child, a higher number of kids will be born into poverty, and after birth the rate of kids put into adoption will increase. Ultimately reshaping our community.

    You appear to want to refute the charge that pregnant women seeking money for an abortion will cry rape. But it’s not clear whose position this is. Your evidence is, I think, that when they file paperwork to receive an abortion, fewer than two women in a thousand claim that the baby resulted from rape or incest. But the Hyde Amendment CONTAINED an exemption for rape and incest pregnancies, so your argument is with the advocates who objected TO THE HYDE AMENDMENT’S exemption.

    Your depression notes need a paragraph of their own. They don’t belong in this argument about the exemptions.

    Instead of banning abortions all together like the states of Alabama, Lousiana, Ohio and Mississippi instead set restrictions for abortions having ANY reason. A good restriction to start off with is that you could no longer receive an abortion after the first trimester. This gives the mother enough time to decide what she wants to do with her body and what would be best for her.

    You seem to want to make pronouncements on every facet of the abortion debate, Athena. The trimester argument and the rape argument have very little to do with one another.

    If we do not support our women in the decisions they are making today about they’re OWN body, especially in the case of rape and incest by rape, you will see a huge shift in our environment. It is up to the women and the government to listen to the women in order to fix this issue and fix the state bans on abortions.

    I have to refer you to the “Try to Say Something” lecture and exercise, Athena. “Support our women” in the “decisions they make” or experience “a huge shift in our environment” is a series of claims that have very little meaning. “Fix an issue” and “fix the bans” are equally vague.

    Having a child born with a mother who does not want it is causing self destruction in the mother and the child. A child who feels unwanted is one of the most heartbreaking things that needs to be avoided. To support abortions there are many websites you can to help sign petitions on bans against abortions as well as donations to abortion clinics and women clinics like Planned Parenthood.

    I’ll never critique your passion or you opinions, Athena, only your arguments and your rhetoric. You have turned an article about a narrow aspect of abortion legislation into a very broad support for women’s rights to terminate unwanted pregnancy under all circumstances. You’re completely entitled to do so, but it wouldn’t be published as a Letter to the Editor because it doesn’t directly address the content of the article it answers.

    It might be a reasonably good essay, but it’s not as good a Letter.

    What do you think, Athena? Was that useful? Is it the sort of critique you expected, dreaded, were hoping for?
    1. Please leave a Comment to indicate your reaction.
    2. Feel free to follow the Feedback Please technique to request more interference after you’ve made significant revisions. I very quickly learn to ignore students who do not engage in the recursive feedback process.

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